I’ve broken three lent things this weekend.
I did not wake up in time for Italian Mass.
I had one soda that was not Pepsi.
I did not do (my version of) the Rosary.
If I believed the HRCC could damn me, I’d be on the road to hell. Then again, I’ve never in my life claimed to be a good Catholic. It was my Father’s choice to have me baptized like that, not mine.
I’m a non-denominational. So, though I do have the Roman-Roots, and I do feel kinda bad, I’m not going to lose a lot of sleep over it.
See the one problem with being Non-Denominational and just being a “Generic Christian” is that you really have no traditions of your own. And, I do believe tradition is important, after all, a really good Christian realizes that he is a bacon eating Jew. Judaism is drenched in tradition. And so in an attempt to take some “tradition supplements” into my “belief diet”, I piggy back on the Catholics, because they have enough tradition to spare. Hence why I often times jokingly refer to myself as a Roman Protestant.
For those of you also keeping to the 3 parts of Lent (self denial, prayer, and charity), KEEP AT IT! But also remember, it’s something that we should practice all year long, not just for a month and half(ish) once a year.
If you are confused about what I am, well, a lot of people are, I kinda think that means I’m accomplishing my goal of being labeled/claimed by any of the specific denominations.
Does get frustrating though when you want people to believe you actually know what you’re talking about, but is really fun when you surprise someone because they realize you actually know what you’re talking about.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Espangles
La idioma oficial de California, o eso es cómo siente unos dias.
No estoy tan seguro porque, pero tengo un gran idea a escribir todos mis blogs en español tambien para que puedo a practicar mi primera lengua (porque yo paresco tan gringo cuando yo hablo que ni es chistoso).
Espero que tengo buena suerte en este projecto porque no soy bien con gramática ni con ortografía en español.
Y si miras un palabra y dices, “¿de que esta hablando?” es que yo no savia la palabra y escribi lo que me dijo Google.
No estoy tan seguro porque, pero tengo un gran idea a escribir todos mis blogs en español tambien para que puedo a practicar mi primera lengua (porque yo paresco tan gringo cuando yo hablo que ni es chistoso).
Espero que tengo buena suerte en este projecto porque no soy bien con gramática ni con ortografía en español.
Y si miras un palabra y dices, “¿de que esta hablando?” es que yo no savia la palabra y escribi lo que me dijo Google.
Spanglish
The official language of California, or at least it seems it.
Not sure why exactly but I had what seems like a great idea to practice my Spanish skills (because I realize how lacking they are) and also post a Spanish translation of my blogs.
Wish me luck, because I neither have the best grammar nor spelling in Spanish.
Not sure why exactly but I had what seems like a great idea to practice my Spanish skills (because I realize how lacking they are) and also post a Spanish translation of my blogs.
Wish me luck, because I neither have the best grammar nor spelling in Spanish.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Everything is Poisonous
Especially the women.
Back to that in a bit.
Yesterday while picking oranges, my handler Michael called, I think his title should be changed to my pimp. He called me up and asked,
“Can you work for Jim tomorrow?” (the grain storage facility place)
“(after considering how many oranges are left to pick) ya, I think I can, I suppose the guys can finish the rest without me.”
“Well, good, because I already told him yes. So you have to be there at 7:30 in the morning.”
There ya go… pimped to the highest bidder.
So today I went to work for the American loving guy with the funny stories, cleaned the edge of one of those giant storage sheds, then I got to climb into a grain silo. After that Jim came and had me change projects again. So I started breaking up a giant cement slab and loaded the broken chunks into the scoop of a tractor.
After work, the guys and I had some drinks in their apartment, and then walked over to the pub. All was going fairly well, not many women there, so that was a bummer. I had ANOTHER girl say, “OMG your name is Edward! But you totally look more like Jacob.” Yes, my tan is that good right now. At one point though, I take a picture of Daniel (one of the Estonians staying in Griffith) and the girl he was dancing with goes CRAZY and like attacks my camera thinking that it was an improper picture of her that I was taking. Well, so when I refuse to allow my new camera to fall into the hands of a crazy drunk woman, she suddenly has the desire to inflict pain on me. Now, I never hit a woman, but, I do block punches, she tried getting a couple guys to beat me up for her, then when they asked what’s going on, I told them, and they looked at her like she was crazy, and ended up just talking to me. Well, things got even more bizarre, and one of the girls I usually dance with came in and rescued me (I felt like such a damsel in distress, I was like Rodger Moore as Bond, let the women fight the women while I stay back and see the outcome). So yes… I was saved by a girl, from… an angry girl.
Every day here in Australia there is a new experience.
After the pub closes, Richard and I stayed together, we found Marty, and then, there was only Markus left. And so we waited for him, because I am good wingman who will never leave a man behind! So we wait… and wait… before long, crazy lady comes back, and tries to start something up, then gets this guy who refers to her as “my girl” (which confuses me because she was dancing with every guy on the floor) decides that he is going to take her side, and wants all his mates to take his side also. Well, apparently I still have my ninja like ability to block a series of incoming punches even when they come from two different directions. Good to know I retained my black belt skills even after getting fat. That was the first major test of my karate skills since I put the extra weight on. Out of the 30+ blows attempted, only one weak one from crazy lady made contact before the pub security and my overseas allies broke it up.
Which brings me back to the original point… EVERYTHING in Australia is poisonous, even (especially) the women.
Oh what an adventure.
Today has mainly been a recovery day from the events of the week and last night. There was concert in the park which we were rained out of at the end, meaning Matthew was not able to perform. The good-bad news is that this one girl in town is single again… time for an attack?
“But Edward! Haven’t you just gone on about how poisonous the women there are?!”
Psh… ya so what. I’m an idiot like that. Plus I was raised by Latinas which actually have the Wolverine like ability to spring out these razor sharp claws and cut out your heart. And I’ve managed to survive this long…
Back to that in a bit.
Yesterday while picking oranges, my handler Michael called, I think his title should be changed to my pimp. He called me up and asked,
“Can you work for Jim tomorrow?” (the grain storage facility place)
“(after considering how many oranges are left to pick) ya, I think I can, I suppose the guys can finish the rest without me.”
“Well, good, because I already told him yes. So you have to be there at 7:30 in the morning.”
There ya go… pimped to the highest bidder.
So today I went to work for the American loving guy with the funny stories, cleaned the edge of one of those giant storage sheds, then I got to climb into a grain silo. After that Jim came and had me change projects again. So I started breaking up a giant cement slab and loaded the broken chunks into the scoop of a tractor.
After work, the guys and I had some drinks in their apartment, and then walked over to the pub. All was going fairly well, not many women there, so that was a bummer. I had ANOTHER girl say, “OMG your name is Edward! But you totally look more like Jacob.” Yes, my tan is that good right now. At one point though, I take a picture of Daniel (one of the Estonians staying in Griffith) and the girl he was dancing with goes CRAZY and like attacks my camera thinking that it was an improper picture of her that I was taking. Well, so when I refuse to allow my new camera to fall into the hands of a crazy drunk woman, she suddenly has the desire to inflict pain on me. Now, I never hit a woman, but, I do block punches, she tried getting a couple guys to beat me up for her, then when they asked what’s going on, I told them, and they looked at her like she was crazy, and ended up just talking to me. Well, things got even more bizarre, and one of the girls I usually dance with came in and rescued me (I felt like such a damsel in distress, I was like Rodger Moore as Bond, let the women fight the women while I stay back and see the outcome). So yes… I was saved by a girl, from… an angry girl.
Every day here in Australia there is a new experience.
After the pub closes, Richard and I stayed together, we found Marty, and then, there was only Markus left. And so we waited for him, because I am good wingman who will never leave a man behind! So we wait… and wait… before long, crazy lady comes back, and tries to start something up, then gets this guy who refers to her as “my girl” (which confuses me because she was dancing with every guy on the floor) decides that he is going to take her side, and wants all his mates to take his side also. Well, apparently I still have my ninja like ability to block a series of incoming punches even when they come from two different directions. Good to know I retained my black belt skills even after getting fat. That was the first major test of my karate skills since I put the extra weight on. Out of the 30+ blows attempted, only one weak one from crazy lady made contact before the pub security and my overseas allies broke it up.
Which brings me back to the original point… EVERYTHING in Australia is poisonous, even (especially) the women.
Oh what an adventure.
Today has mainly been a recovery day from the events of the week and last night. There was concert in the park which we were rained out of at the end, meaning Matthew was not able to perform. The good-bad news is that this one girl in town is single again… time for an attack?
“But Edward! Haven’t you just gone on about how poisonous the women there are?!”
Psh… ya so what. I’m an idiot like that. Plus I was raised by Latinas which actually have the Wolverine like ability to spring out these razor sharp claws and cut out your heart. And I’ve managed to survive this long…
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Just One of Those Days
You know the kind I’m talking about.
Had to pick more oranges today. Considering going to Sydney earlier than scheduled, but, still not sure on that one, might happen, might not.
The Estonians and I went to Griffith. They might be moving there, 40 minute drive away. That means no more hanging out on a regular basis. The reality set in while we were driving back to Leeton.
Then I came home and checked my email. The moment I thought was coming but I didn’t want arrived. My friend Ken is with God now as a result of the stroke from a couple days ago.
I stumbled today… for the first time in my detoxification of Pepsi, I took one over my daily ration. I feel like I’ve failed myself. The craving just overtook reason and logic.
A hug would be nice right now.
Had to pick more oranges today. Considering going to Sydney earlier than scheduled, but, still not sure on that one, might happen, might not.
The Estonians and I went to Griffith. They might be moving there, 40 minute drive away. That means no more hanging out on a regular basis. The reality set in while we were driving back to Leeton.
Then I came home and checked my email. The moment I thought was coming but I didn’t want arrived. My friend Ken is with God now as a result of the stroke from a couple days ago.
I stumbled today… for the first time in my detoxification of Pepsi, I took one over my daily ration. I feel like I’ve failed myself. The craving just overtook reason and logic.
A hug would be nice right now.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Õnnelik Iseseisvuspäev
Happy Estonian Independence Day!
Mahopin Eesti Kiilt (not the proper spelling).
Translation: I am learning Estonian.
This day in history in 1918, the good and oppressed people of Estonia took up arms in a brave battle against the Russian overlords of their land, and reached out in an attempt to obtain freedom from subjugation under the tyrannical rule of czars and Bolsheviks. An attempt, which was successful.
Well… for about twenty years before being invaded by Nazis, then being “liberated” only to re-gobbled up by Russians.
Now, if I was in Australia for 4th of July, I know I would have a longing for home, and want to do something American to celebrate my own homeland’s struggle for Independence.
So, I went out to the bottle shop, got some vodka, printed out some pictures, got a toy gun, got some Styrofoam, and set up a bit of a game for my new friends. We went to the store, bought the ingredients for pizza (not because it’s such an Estonian thing, but because that’s what we happened to be in the mood for) went back to the apartment to make our pizzas and while they were in the oven we started up a game of shoot the Russian!
For the history impaired…
From left to right: Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev, Yeltsin, and (most recently) Putin.
When I announced that the winner gets a bottle of vodka, the competition intensified to take out the most Russians. The rules where simple. Best of three rounds cumulative points, five shots each per round, and don’t pass a certain line when you fire.
Marty led off.
Followed by Markus.
And then Richard.
Why the huge celebration on Richard’s part?
He was the first one to take out Putin:
An even greater accomplishment than Richard being the first to take out Putin, was Marty in the 3rd round taking out an impressive 4 out of 5 Russians (leaving on Brezhnev standing after a misfire).
This of course led to the final score:
Marty the winner of the vodka, and Markus & Richard left to take out the disappointment of their loss on the Russians.
And so, a good night was had by all!
Then of course there was even a 92nd birthday cake for Estonia.
I wrote using the very little bit of Eesti (Estonian) that I know:
“Kai Victu Venemaa”
That is to say, “F^<% you Russia”.
And then there was more laughter at the expense of communism:
Happy Estonian Independence everyone!
Mahopin Eesti Kiilt (not the proper spelling).
Translation: I am learning Estonian.
This day in history in 1918, the good and oppressed people of Estonia took up arms in a brave battle against the Russian overlords of their land, and reached out in an attempt to obtain freedom from subjugation under the tyrannical rule of czars and Bolsheviks. An attempt, which was successful.
Well… for about twenty years before being invaded by Nazis, then being “liberated” only to re-gobbled up by Russians.
Now, if I was in Australia for 4th of July, I know I would have a longing for home, and want to do something American to celebrate my own homeland’s struggle for Independence.
So, I went out to the bottle shop, got some vodka, printed out some pictures, got a toy gun, got some Styrofoam, and set up a bit of a game for my new friends. We went to the store, bought the ingredients for pizza (not because it’s such an Estonian thing, but because that’s what we happened to be in the mood for) went back to the apartment to make our pizzas and while they were in the oven we started up a game of shoot the Russian!
For the history impaired…
From left to right: Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev, Yeltsin, and (most recently) Putin.
When I announced that the winner gets a bottle of vodka, the competition intensified to take out the most Russians. The rules where simple. Best of three rounds cumulative points, five shots each per round, and don’t pass a certain line when you fire.
Marty led off.
Followed by Markus.
And then Richard.
Why the huge celebration on Richard’s part?
He was the first one to take out Putin:
An even greater accomplishment than Richard being the first to take out Putin, was Marty in the 3rd round taking out an impressive 4 out of 5 Russians (leaving on Brezhnev standing after a misfire).
This of course led to the final score:
Marty the winner of the vodka, and Markus & Richard left to take out the disappointment of their loss on the Russians.
And so, a good night was had by all!
Then of course there was even a 92nd birthday cake for Estonia.
I wrote using the very little bit of Eesti (Estonian) that I know:
“Kai Victu Venemaa”
That is to say, “F^<% you Russia”.
And then there was more laughter at the expense of communism:
Happy Estonian Independence everyone!
Monday, February 22, 2010
blog comments
OK!
I played around with some settings and...
In theory!
Now anyone should be able to post a comment whether they have gmail or not, but, it will come up as "Anonymous" so, might want to mention your name if you want me to know it was from you
:)
I played around with some settings and...
In theory!
Now anyone should be able to post a comment whether they have gmail or not, but, it will come up as "Anonymous" so, might want to mention your name if you want me to know it was from you
:)
I Woke up This Morning…
…and I neither had myself a gun, nor did I feel like P. Diddy (those of you who listen to a wide variety of music, help out those who don’t).
So, if we thought we failed at orange picking last week… we REALLY failed today. So embarrassing…
I wake up, and I actually get to the Estonian’s place perfectly at 0600, the problem… the lights were off. Oh no! So, I park, I walk up to their apartment, let myself in with my key, and Markus instantly is up and is yelling something in Estonian which I gathered to mean something along the lines of “shit shit guys… we slept to long! Battle Stations! Battle Stations!”
They have their breakfast, and we are ready to go, we get to the field and we were so thankful to see the ground still far too wet for our liking due to the previous night’s rain.
So… we went back to the apartment. We texted our boss on the way back. Once we got there, we all decided, a nap would be a good idea. And so… we napped. Waking up just after noon, only to find a text message that read, “The girls are working today, it’ll dry up”.
FAIL
After that, we watched the United States hockey team beat down the Canuks. Came to the house, “exercised” for awhile and then went to the Pool/Tennis Courts. Goose (Martin) and I went to the pool, while Ice (Markus) and Slider (Richard) went to play tennis. I took 20 seconds off my 450 meter swim and set a time of 11:01 on my 500 yard swim.
In the end… an alright day.
There was however some bad news from home. For those of you whose gift is prayer and/or healing, please keep in mind my friend Ken from my Mother’s Bible study group who had a stroke last night.
Tomorrow, rain or shine, we pick (not really, just shine)!
So, if we thought we failed at orange picking last week… we REALLY failed today. So embarrassing…
I wake up, and I actually get to the Estonian’s place perfectly at 0600, the problem… the lights were off. Oh no! So, I park, I walk up to their apartment, let myself in with my key, and Markus instantly is up and is yelling something in Estonian which I gathered to mean something along the lines of “shit shit guys… we slept to long! Battle Stations! Battle Stations!”
They have their breakfast, and we are ready to go, we get to the field and we were so thankful to see the ground still far too wet for our liking due to the previous night’s rain.
So… we went back to the apartment. We texted our boss on the way back. Once we got there, we all decided, a nap would be a good idea. And so… we napped. Waking up just after noon, only to find a text message that read, “The girls are working today, it’ll dry up”.
FAIL
After that, we watched the United States hockey team beat down the Canuks. Came to the house, “exercised” for awhile and then went to the Pool/Tennis Courts. Goose (Martin) and I went to the pool, while Ice (Markus) and Slider (Richard) went to play tennis. I took 20 seconds off my 450 meter swim and set a time of 11:01 on my 500 yard swim.
In the end… an alright day.
There was however some bad news from home. For those of you whose gift is prayer and/or healing, please keep in mind my friend Ken from my Mother’s Bible study group who had a stroke last night.
Tomorrow, rain or shine, we pick (not really, just shine)!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Super Bowl Ad Review: Winners!!!
At long last! I have caught up on the Super Bowl Ads. And, after going over them, there are a few that stood out, either they worked for me, they failed for me, or they left me going… “what?!” And of course, being a Business Major, I LOVE commercials, I LOVE Super Bowl Sunday, oh sure… there’s a big game on, but!!! There are also commercials! (Prof. Bryant, aren’t you proud)
AT LAST
The list of the ones I feel WON!:
SLUG BUG!!!
I love this commercial!
VW has taken a game, that EVERYONE either plays or has played, and instead of denying its existence (though it has no reason to) it has taken ownership of it! It has made it its own!
PLUS!
A blind guy who can see. B-E-A-utiful! Win, full on win!
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AHHH Clark Griswold strikes again!
What better way to display how inefficient the traditional way of doing things is than Clark Griswold. The epic failure of failures. Good to see him on the road after all these years, and I can’t believe his wife hasn’t killed him yet.
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My major problem with this ad is the French reference. Besides that, I LOVE how Google flat out says, “We will provide you with anything and everything”
After all, according to one of the 12 billion doomsday shows on History Channel, Google can predict the future.
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Laughing My Ass Off!
Aahhh Brett… will you ever quit?
I don’t know, but I do know this commercial is GOLD for the audience that it was going for.
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You all know I am a Pepsico person, BUT, I highly respect the Coke Marketing Department (not the Coke Zero Marketing Department, those guys are shmucks).
Watch closely!
They take what is going on in current day America. They take two classic icons of America, The Simpsons and Coke. THEN they mix all 3 together!
And everyone has a smile by the end of the commercial.
Beautiful.
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Betty White = funniest old woman ever!
This commercial played to its audience.
It showed its audience what using it can help them achieve, in this case, turn a scrawny guy who plays like Betty White, into a guy who can perfectly catch a pass.
Oh ya, and it was friggin flaggin hilarious!
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AND NOW!!!
My favorite 2010 Super Bowl Commercial:
It played to an audience of men who have probably been saying quotes from “The Hangover” all day. And of course, it’s hilarious! You are left wondering “How the hell did they get an orca in the back of the truck!?!” and so, your mind begins to wonder, and fill in the gap, but then you think, who cares, it’s friggin hilarious. Then you and your buddies get into discussion on tires and are Bridgestone really that good?
I don’t know, I’m not a tire guy, but I do know, I really really liked this commercial.
2010 Super Bowl, these are the winners… the cream of the crop who rose up to the challenge of their rivals. Good commercials… I salute you!
AT LAST
The list of the ones I feel WON!:
SLUG BUG!!!
I love this commercial!
VW has taken a game, that EVERYONE either plays or has played, and instead of denying its existence (though it has no reason to) it has taken ownership of it! It has made it its own!
PLUS!
A blind guy who can see. B-E-A-utiful! Win, full on win!
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
AHHH Clark Griswold strikes again!
What better way to display how inefficient the traditional way of doing things is than Clark Griswold. The epic failure of failures. Good to see him on the road after all these years, and I can’t believe his wife hasn’t killed him yet.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
My major problem with this ad is the French reference. Besides that, I LOVE how Google flat out says, “We will provide you with anything and everything”
After all, according to one of the 12 billion doomsday shows on History Channel, Google can predict the future.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Laughing My Ass Off!
Aahhh Brett… will you ever quit?
I don’t know, but I do know this commercial is GOLD for the audience that it was going for.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
You all know I am a Pepsico person, BUT, I highly respect the Coke Marketing Department (not the Coke Zero Marketing Department, those guys are shmucks).
Watch closely!
They take what is going on in current day America. They take two classic icons of America, The Simpsons and Coke. THEN they mix all 3 together!
And everyone has a smile by the end of the commercial.
Beautiful.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Betty White = funniest old woman ever!
This commercial played to its audience.
It showed its audience what using it can help them achieve, in this case, turn a scrawny guy who plays like Betty White, into a guy who can perfectly catch a pass.
Oh ya, and it was friggin flaggin hilarious!
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
AND NOW!!!
My favorite 2010 Super Bowl Commercial:
It played to an audience of men who have probably been saying quotes from “The Hangover” all day. And of course, it’s hilarious! You are left wondering “How the hell did they get an orca in the back of the truck!?!” and so, your mind begins to wonder, and fill in the gap, but then you think, who cares, it’s friggin hilarious. Then you and your buddies get into discussion on tires and are Bridgestone really that good?
I don’t know, I’m not a tire guy, but I do know, I really really liked this commercial.
2010 Super Bowl, these are the winners… the cream of the crop who rose up to the challenge of their rivals. Good commercials… I salute you!
Super Bowl Ad Review: Better Than Average
At long last! I have caught up on the Super Bowl Ads. And, after going over them, there are a few that stood out, either they worked for me, they failed for me, or they left me going… “what?!” And of course, being a Business Major, I LOVE commercials, I LOVE Super Bowl Sunday, oh sure… there’s a big game on, but!!! There are also commercials! (Prof. Bryant, aren’t you proud)
Cutting through all the CBS Promos and the movie trailers, when you get to the ones that were really creative, these stood out over a lot of the rest, maybe not for the best reasons, but stood out. These are a list of the ones I feel didn’t quite fail, but where damn near close, but also not close enough to success:
Ahhh didn’t know that your kid’s toys could have their own acid trip adventures did ya! I like the concept that the Kia is like a toy for grownups, and it’s so awesome, even kid toys want to grow up to drive one.
Then of course, you have the beautiful irony of a robot DOING the robot on the dance floor. And, like any party like montage, the gang MUST end up in Vegas which just goes to show you how much fun you and a group of friends can have on an adventure.
I’ll admit it, this commercial made that Kia look like a lot of fun, but… it also made the Kia marketing department look like they are on some drug. MAYBE! They took my advice I gave to the Bud Light astronomers and they tried some of the Green Fairy, unfortunately, it made them hallucinate. I don’t know… this is very very close to a successful add for me, but just something in me can’t quite fully admit to it, not sure why, but I do enjoy watching it. Props Kia… props.
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Really? People would jump through hoops for your product?
Well, I’m sure every brand name would sure like to think so. I like the creativity, and the optimism of the product to have the balls to say that people are so addicted to their product, and is so good, that they would leap out of the air and summersault their way through a ring of fire… but… at the same time, you can look at it that the product compares its customers to trick animals whose purpose is to consume for the shear amusement of the company. Now, in a lot of ways that’s true of many companies, but I don’t know if you necessarily have to be so honest about it.
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To quote Dustin Hoffman’s portrayal of Capt. J. Hook:
“Bad form Jack… bad form”
This from a marketing department that I look up to and have a lot of respect for. Jack, last superbowl I (nearly… not really) wept for you when you where hit by that bus! You should be much more careful with yourself, you might really get hurt one of these days… YOU HAVE A FAMILY and funny commercials to make. This year… just didn’t quite cut it for me Jack, sorry. But, I still like you, I might not be able to eat your food after all this weight loss when I go home, but I still like ya.
I did like the concept that, he makes this announcement of new things, and then takes a leap into the un-known, the leap might have failed, but it did tie in well with his speech, so, points for that.
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Huh… I kinda want to say I like it… but WHY? It doesn’t fully make sense why chickens are playing pool. More importantly… WHY is this guy ruining it for humans everywhere?! He should be tared and feathered for giving secrets to the enemy.
What a shmuck.
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There is one reason, and one reason alone for why I love this commercial.
And if any of you have to ask… well… you just don’t know me well enough…
MIDGETS!
I love the usage of PECK (that’s the name of the Midget version of KISS – get it? A peck is a little kiss)
Aside from that though… not being a KISS or Dr. Pepper fan, didn’t do much for me besides that.
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Ok… nice song… I’ll give you that. And, good way of implementing most of the elements of manhood.
But there is NO way I’m using Dove for men. Unless someone gave it to me for free (or that special someone made me).
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Seriously?
Dudes… Come on…
I liked the creativity of the story line, it was cute in parts and funny in others… but you’re telling me a guy like that is going to have that much trouble with cars, even though he probably put together a working model of the combustion engine in like the 3rd grade…
I don’t think so… not happening for me.
2010 Super Bowl, this is the middle of the road… the ones that almost but didn’t quite work, or just left me thinking. Next we’ll take a look at what I thought was the cream of the crop who rose up to the challenge of their rivals.
Cutting through all the CBS Promos and the movie trailers, when you get to the ones that were really creative, these stood out over a lot of the rest, maybe not for the best reasons, but stood out. These are a list of the ones I feel didn’t quite fail, but where damn near close, but also not close enough to success:
Ahhh didn’t know that your kid’s toys could have their own acid trip adventures did ya! I like the concept that the Kia is like a toy for grownups, and it’s so awesome, even kid toys want to grow up to drive one.
Then of course, you have the beautiful irony of a robot DOING the robot on the dance floor. And, like any party like montage, the gang MUST end up in Vegas which just goes to show you how much fun you and a group of friends can have on an adventure.
I’ll admit it, this commercial made that Kia look like a lot of fun, but… it also made the Kia marketing department look like they are on some drug. MAYBE! They took my advice I gave to the Bud Light astronomers and they tried some of the Green Fairy, unfortunately, it made them hallucinate. I don’t know… this is very very close to a successful add for me, but just something in me can’t quite fully admit to it, not sure why, but I do enjoy watching it. Props Kia… props.
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Really? People would jump through hoops for your product?
Well, I’m sure every brand name would sure like to think so. I like the creativity, and the optimism of the product to have the balls to say that people are so addicted to their product, and is so good, that they would leap out of the air and summersault their way through a ring of fire… but… at the same time, you can look at it that the product compares its customers to trick animals whose purpose is to consume for the shear amusement of the company. Now, in a lot of ways that’s true of many companies, but I don’t know if you necessarily have to be so honest about it.
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To quote Dustin Hoffman’s portrayal of Capt. J. Hook:
“Bad form Jack… bad form”
This from a marketing department that I look up to and have a lot of respect for. Jack, last superbowl I (nearly… not really) wept for you when you where hit by that bus! You should be much more careful with yourself, you might really get hurt one of these days… YOU HAVE A FAMILY and funny commercials to make. This year… just didn’t quite cut it for me Jack, sorry. But, I still like you, I might not be able to eat your food after all this weight loss when I go home, but I still like ya.
I did like the concept that, he makes this announcement of new things, and then takes a leap into the un-known, the leap might have failed, but it did tie in well with his speech, so, points for that.
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Huh… I kinda want to say I like it… but WHY? It doesn’t fully make sense why chickens are playing pool. More importantly… WHY is this guy ruining it for humans everywhere?! He should be tared and feathered for giving secrets to the enemy.
What a shmuck.
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There is one reason, and one reason alone for why I love this commercial.
And if any of you have to ask… well… you just don’t know me well enough…
MIDGETS!
I love the usage of PECK (that’s the name of the Midget version of KISS – get it? A peck is a little kiss)
Aside from that though… not being a KISS or Dr. Pepper fan, didn’t do much for me besides that.
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Ok… nice song… I’ll give you that. And, good way of implementing most of the elements of manhood.
But there is NO way I’m using Dove for men. Unless someone gave it to me for free (or that special someone made me).
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Seriously?
Dudes… Come on…
I liked the creativity of the story line, it was cute in parts and funny in others… but you’re telling me a guy like that is going to have that much trouble with cars, even though he probably put together a working model of the combustion engine in like the 3rd grade…
I don’t think so… not happening for me.
2010 Super Bowl, this is the middle of the road… the ones that almost but didn’t quite work, or just left me thinking. Next we’ll take a look at what I thought was the cream of the crop who rose up to the challenge of their rivals.
Super Bowl Ad Review: Losers
At long last! I have caught up on the Super Bowl Ads. And, after going over them, there are a few that stood out, either they worked for me, they failed for me, or they left me going… “what?!” And of course, being a Business Major, I LOVE commercials, I LOVE Super Bowl Sunday, oh sure… there’s a big game on, but!!! There are also commercials! (Prof. Bryant, aren’t you proud)
These are a list of the ones I feel failed, in some cases, failed epically:
In some ways it pains me to say this but… United States, you get the first fail on the list. Not the entire US, only the Department of Commerce – Census Bureau.
Really? Seriously? That’s the best you guys could come up with? This completely did not scream, “BE COUNTED! IT’S IMPORTANT!”
To me it said more like, “what? Wtf is a census? OH! That’s this year… huh… ya know… I think I might have maybe gotten something in the mail about that, but it wasn’t my tax return so I threw it out”
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Oh accents hahaha. What fun to make fun of not being able to understand people. You know what, if I was that woman, I’d be happy to no longer be with an asshole who cares more about his tires then the woman he promised to have and to hold till death do them part. Besides being a stupid commercial, it also shows how little we care about marriage these days.
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Please God! Don’t let him ever try sing/rap/rhyming again. Horrible, just… just horrible. I mean, come on Taco Bell… are you really the same geniuses who where behind the Chihuahua?! You can’t be, you just can’t be, because, they where creative and knew how to exploit a sterotype! This, this is just sad and makes me not want to watch basketball for awhile. Maybe in the rest of the time I have in Australia, I might re-gain my hunger for a double decker or a Mexican pizza, but this certainly put a damper on it.
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ASTROID WILL KILL US ALL!!!
And so you reach for… Bud LIGHT? Come on people, number 1, you all fail epically as astronomers, I mean, I may suck at math, but I at least know that you can TRY to do some calculations. Number 2, if your that sure the world will end, why are you going out with Bud LIGHT, you are going to die… now is the time for Tequila, Rum, OR Absinth!
Have fun explaining that and cleaning up the dome the next day with that… oh wait… no, you won’t even have a hangover, so nevermind, no pity.
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Ummm… What?
If this had a point, I would put it in the “What?” category. Unfortunatly, I don’t really think it did… and so… I must say, fail. If I can at least identify one the goal in mind was… maybe… but I couldn’t… and I tried. Oh well…
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OH, so that’s all I need, just some Sketchers, ok, but when I walk into the Navy Recruiters office and he tells me, “Nice try fat ass” I’m SOOOO suing you for false advertising! Can we… oh I don’t know, maybe see some medical proof to back this ricockulous statement? Naw… of course not, that would take away the magic.
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Ok, I am marking this as a fail, but not because of a lack of creativity, story line, or plot. I am counting this as a loser because of the poor product placement. You see, while all other Beavers are doing their Beaver thing… ONE chooses to stand out and be different, one chooses to make something unique about himself. Then it cuts to a shot of him on Monster.com, and then, the very next scene, he is out in the streets, then he catches a lucky break, and makes it big, and life is amazingly great for the lil guy. But… Where did Monster.com come into play in all of this? To me, it seems like it failed the poor Beaver, cause, he logged on, and searched, and next thing you know, he was homeless and on the streets. If Monster had tied in the fact that all that success was a result of him going to their website, well, by golly, then that would be a success, but it didn’t.
What this commercial told me was, “Come to Monster.com, fail miserably, become homeless, get a lucky break, make it big, and we didn’t have anything to do with it, because it was all just your own skill and luck that got you to where you are, we only got you out on your ass in the street”
And so, as touching a tale as this might be… it must be placed onto my fail list for not making a connection between attaining success, and going to Monster.com. I might be bias though, because if I had just used Montster.com, I might end up homeless. (Sorry Prof. Bryant, not the resume, it’s the website’s case I’m on, love the resume)
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I think I want to throw up. The SOBE lizard thing was weird enough last year, and at least that somewhat resembled cool because it was 3-d, and involved dancing lizards.
This?!?!?!
MIKE! What are you doing?! You can’t really be hurting for money can you? Oh… sad day… sad day… I don’t even remember the product, I just remember running away screaming “HEAR NO EVIL SEE NO EVIL”
2010 Super Bowl, this is the down side of things… but, next we’ll take a look at what would normally have just been the middle of the pack had it not intrigued me so much.
These are a list of the ones I feel failed, in some cases, failed epically:
In some ways it pains me to say this but… United States, you get the first fail on the list. Not the entire US, only the Department of Commerce – Census Bureau.
Really? Seriously? That’s the best you guys could come up with? This completely did not scream, “BE COUNTED! IT’S IMPORTANT!”
To me it said more like, “what? Wtf is a census? OH! That’s this year… huh… ya know… I think I might have maybe gotten something in the mail about that, but it wasn’t my tax return so I threw it out”
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Oh accents hahaha. What fun to make fun of not being able to understand people. You know what, if I was that woman, I’d be happy to no longer be with an asshole who cares more about his tires then the woman he promised to have and to hold till death do them part. Besides being a stupid commercial, it also shows how little we care about marriage these days.
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Please God! Don’t let him ever try sing/rap/rhyming again. Horrible, just… just horrible. I mean, come on Taco Bell… are you really the same geniuses who where behind the Chihuahua?! You can’t be, you just can’t be, because, they where creative and knew how to exploit a sterotype! This, this is just sad and makes me not want to watch basketball for awhile. Maybe in the rest of the time I have in Australia, I might re-gain my hunger for a double decker or a Mexican pizza, but this certainly put a damper on it.
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ASTROID WILL KILL US ALL!!!
And so you reach for… Bud LIGHT? Come on people, number 1, you all fail epically as astronomers, I mean, I may suck at math, but I at least know that you can TRY to do some calculations. Number 2, if your that sure the world will end, why are you going out with Bud LIGHT, you are going to die… now is the time for Tequila, Rum, OR Absinth!
Have fun explaining that and cleaning up the dome the next day with that… oh wait… no, you won’t even have a hangover, so nevermind, no pity.
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Ummm… What?
If this had a point, I would put it in the “What?” category. Unfortunatly, I don’t really think it did… and so… I must say, fail. If I can at least identify one the goal in mind was… maybe… but I couldn’t… and I tried. Oh well…
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OH, so that’s all I need, just some Sketchers, ok, but when I walk into the Navy Recruiters office and he tells me, “Nice try fat ass” I’m SOOOO suing you for false advertising! Can we… oh I don’t know, maybe see some medical proof to back this ricockulous statement? Naw… of course not, that would take away the magic.
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Ok, I am marking this as a fail, but not because of a lack of creativity, story line, or plot. I am counting this as a loser because of the poor product placement. You see, while all other Beavers are doing their Beaver thing… ONE chooses to stand out and be different, one chooses to make something unique about himself. Then it cuts to a shot of him on Monster.com, and then, the very next scene, he is out in the streets, then he catches a lucky break, and makes it big, and life is amazingly great for the lil guy. But… Where did Monster.com come into play in all of this? To me, it seems like it failed the poor Beaver, cause, he logged on, and searched, and next thing you know, he was homeless and on the streets. If Monster had tied in the fact that all that success was a result of him going to their website, well, by golly, then that would be a success, but it didn’t.
What this commercial told me was, “Come to Monster.com, fail miserably, become homeless, get a lucky break, make it big, and we didn’t have anything to do with it, because it was all just your own skill and luck that got you to where you are, we only got you out on your ass in the street”
And so, as touching a tale as this might be… it must be placed onto my fail list for not making a connection between attaining success, and going to Monster.com. I might be bias though, because if I had just used Montster.com, I might end up homeless. (Sorry Prof. Bryant, not the resume, it’s the website’s case I’m on, love the resume)
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I think I want to throw up. The SOBE lizard thing was weird enough last year, and at least that somewhat resembled cool because it was 3-d, and involved dancing lizards.
This?!?!?!
MIKE! What are you doing?! You can’t really be hurting for money can you? Oh… sad day… sad day… I don’t even remember the product, I just remember running away screaming “HEAR NO EVIL SEE NO EVIL”
2010 Super Bowl, this is the down side of things… but, next we’ll take a look at what would normally have just been the middle of the pack had it not intrigued me so much.
Lent: Sunday 1
Another Mass en Italiano. I should have gone picking oranges, but, when I went to pick up the Estonians, my tummy made it known to me that it was not going to be my friend this morning. I asked what they thought about me not working and they said they would be alright without me. All though my body was happy with their opinion, I was actually not happy with myself for accepting the opportunity to rest. I really really don’t want whatever illness is running through the rest of the family, but as I type this, I feel the beginning of a headache as well some bad thing going on in my throat.
So, I went to Mass. The priest’s Italian was about as good as mine (if that). I think it helped me to understand what he was saying being that he had to take his time as he read the words. I really liked his lesson though. He talked about how the temptations of Christ in the wilderness follow the pattern of the temptations in different stages of our life. I talked to him afterwards, and might finally have my first communion (I know, I shouldn’t rush into it, after all, I’m only 24).
This year for Lent, I am giving up any type of candy, and any soda other then Pepsi, which, being that I’m also detoxing from Pepsi, might mean that I end up completely soda free by the end. I’m also going to try to go to Mass every Sunday (at least the ones that I’m not working) and Yom Kippur style fasting on Sunday’s (go until sundown). Then there is the Rosary, but I don’t like doing the Hail Mary, so, I fill in those with a personal new and original prayer. I know what my prayer is right now…
I really hope I’m not going to get sick also, cause that will suck highly. I can’t afford to get sick… UNLESS! I get so sick that I drop like another 15 pounds… in which case… bring it on!
So, I went to Mass. The priest’s Italian was about as good as mine (if that). I think it helped me to understand what he was saying being that he had to take his time as he read the words. I really liked his lesson though. He talked about how the temptations of Christ in the wilderness follow the pattern of the temptations in different stages of our life. I talked to him afterwards, and might finally have my first communion (I know, I shouldn’t rush into it, after all, I’m only 24).
This year for Lent, I am giving up any type of candy, and any soda other then Pepsi, which, being that I’m also detoxing from Pepsi, might mean that I end up completely soda free by the end. I’m also going to try to go to Mass every Sunday (at least the ones that I’m not working) and Yom Kippur style fasting on Sunday’s (go until sundown). Then there is the Rosary, but I don’t like doing the Hail Mary, so, I fill in those with a personal new and original prayer. I know what my prayer is right now…
I really hope I’m not going to get sick also, cause that will suck highly. I can’t afford to get sick… UNLESS! I get so sick that I drop like another 15 pounds… in which case… bring it on!
The End of Another Birthweek
Except this one was a double celebration!
It kicked off last Saturday with the AC/DC concert, went on throughout the week days with the successful passing with a 100% on the driver’s test, attaining their learners license, and now… finishing up with a night of fun with their closest friends in the recently completed shipping containers.
A rather packed week for Matthew and David, but hey… why not? You only turn 16 once. And oh… what an age to turn, still young, still youthful, still know everything; I know I did. Not only do they have the whole road of life ahead of them, they now have a means of driving on that road. That is assuming they can get the car in the proper gear and not stall out at a big intersection then drive up on the curve.
These two are such a fun blend of personalities. A fiery ginger who can kill you on xbox live like no one’s business; and a gentle giant who can out play any bass player I know, and yes, that does include my ex-seafood named friend (Madre and Andrew, you know who I’m talking about). All in all, a couple good blokes, well, when they aren’t arguing, terrorizing their younger brother, or putting crap on the Yankee that is.
The past two days reminds me of my own “twin”. Val, the shipping containers have a pool table that also converts into an air hockey table… memories. When I get home… we are going to Camelot (YES I STILL CALL IT CAMELOT) and we are going to have a match, actually… several. Oh, and Phil… Luke… you two aren’t going to stop us, you don’t want to get hit by the puck, then don’t stand so close.
It kicked off last Saturday with the AC/DC concert, went on throughout the week days with the successful passing with a 100% on the driver’s test, attaining their learners license, and now… finishing up with a night of fun with their closest friends in the recently completed shipping containers.
A rather packed week for Matthew and David, but hey… why not? You only turn 16 once. And oh… what an age to turn, still young, still youthful, still know everything; I know I did. Not only do they have the whole road of life ahead of them, they now have a means of driving on that road. That is assuming they can get the car in the proper gear and not stall out at a big intersection then drive up on the curve.
These two are such a fun blend of personalities. A fiery ginger who can kill you on xbox live like no one’s business; and a gentle giant who can out play any bass player I know, and yes, that does include my ex-seafood named friend (Madre and Andrew, you know who I’m talking about). All in all, a couple good blokes, well, when they aren’t arguing, terrorizing their younger brother, or putting crap on the Yankee that is.
The past two days reminds me of my own “twin”. Val, the shipping containers have a pool table that also converts into an air hockey table… memories. When I get home… we are going to Camelot (YES I STILL CALL IT CAMELOT) and we are going to have a match, actually… several. Oh, and Phil… Luke… you two aren’t going to stop us, you don’t want to get hit by the puck, then don’t stand so close.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Oranges: Easier Than Plums
Well, no… not really.
“Bugiardo”. Mims… that’s your Italian lesson for the day, that means “Liar” in Italian. I was going to start with something like “hello”, “my name is…”, “where’s the toilet?” But this just seemed so fitting, so, we start with that.
Dirty Job #6 sucks… another point college degree.
Although, one cool thing I must say is, I’ve driven a tractor more in the last 2 weeks then I ever have in my life. That aside…
Oranges are much harder. Oh… talk about terrible. The four of us are so horribly slow at picking oranges. It was bad enough that we didn’t start till three days after we thought we were going to, but then once we did… we realized we are like the worst fruit picking back packers there are.
Michael tried to comfort me by saying we didn’t do too bad for our first time when I reported in on how we did. I think he was just being a lying nice guy.
Not only are bins of oranges worth less then bins of plums, but we only did 19, he wanted 24 out of us…
Ya… we failed.
The worst part about all this: there are more to pick next week!
SERENITY NOW!!!
Michael… anytime you wanna spring that new job on me… totally ready…
(I didn’t even get to see one of the two cute girls from the supermarket at all this week)
“Bugiardo”. Mims… that’s your Italian lesson for the day, that means “Liar” in Italian. I was going to start with something like “hello”, “my name is…”, “where’s the toilet?” But this just seemed so fitting, so, we start with that.
Dirty Job #6 sucks… another point college degree.
Although, one cool thing I must say is, I’ve driven a tractor more in the last 2 weeks then I ever have in my life. That aside…
Oranges are much harder. Oh… talk about terrible. The four of us are so horribly slow at picking oranges. It was bad enough that we didn’t start till three days after we thought we were going to, but then once we did… we realized we are like the worst fruit picking back packers there are.
Michael tried to comfort me by saying we didn’t do too bad for our first time when I reported in on how we did. I think he was just being a lying nice guy.
Not only are bins of oranges worth less then bins of plums, but we only did 19, he wanted 24 out of us…
Ya… we failed.
The worst part about all this: there are more to pick next week!
SERENITY NOW!!!
Michael… anytime you wanna spring that new job on me… totally ready…
(I didn’t even get to see one of the two cute girls from the supermarket at all this week)
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Year’s Worth of Weight Loss
Well, just like yesterday marked my one year anniversary of freedom, today marks my one year anniversary of the start of my weight loss.
A couple really good reasons for it:
#1, My Navy recruiter is not happy with me (especially when he sees my 96th percentile score on the ASVAB only to see that I’m not according to standard size).
#2, I suppose my life could be a lot longer and more gratifying being able to do things I love like soccer, hiking, climbing things, exploration, running without passing out, and of course waking up without diabetes.
#3, I use to be a thin sexy bitch, (so did David apparently) I’d kinda like to return to that, and for those who either don’t remember since it was so long ago, or just flat out didn’t know me back then… here you go:
Yup… that was me like about 60-70 pounds lighter.
So, how have I done over the last year?
15 Feb 2009
Neck: 19 inches
Waist: 52.25 inches
BMI: 33.25%
Weight: 313 lb
15 Feb 2010
Neck: 17.2 inches
Waist: 41.9 inches
BMI: 24.7%
Weight: 261 lb
Ya… DAMN is right. DAMN is right for both the optimist and the pessimist actually, yes, I was that heavy, and yes, I’ve lost that much.
Ten inches in a year.
And for those who doubted it would be any easier for me in Australia then back in the states (as many of you did).
The first five inches where in 10 months in California, the last five inches have been in the last 2 months here in Australia.
My goal: 37 inch waist or less (preferably less, but all that is needed is the 37)
That would leave me with a BMI of 20% which is the Navy standard for men in my age bracket.
Another three months to lose another five inches… at this rate, no problem.
I leave you with this:
“Our problem is NOT that we aim to high and FAIL,
It IS that we aim to low and SUCCEED.”
-Aristotle
A couple really good reasons for it:
#1, My Navy recruiter is not happy with me (especially when he sees my 96th percentile score on the ASVAB only to see that I’m not according to standard size).
#2, I suppose my life could be a lot longer and more gratifying being able to do things I love like soccer, hiking, climbing things, exploration, running without passing out, and of course waking up without diabetes.
#3, I use to be a thin sexy bitch, (so did David apparently) I’d kinda like to return to that, and for those who either don’t remember since it was so long ago, or just flat out didn’t know me back then… here you go:
Yup… that was me like about 60-70 pounds lighter.
So, how have I done over the last year?
15 Feb 2009
Neck: 19 inches
Waist: 52.25 inches
BMI: 33.25%
Weight: 313 lb
15 Feb 2010
Neck: 17.2 inches
Waist: 41.9 inches
BMI: 24.7%
Weight: 261 lb
Ya… DAMN is right. DAMN is right for both the optimist and the pessimist actually, yes, I was that heavy, and yes, I’ve lost that much.
Ten inches in a year.
And for those who doubted it would be any easier for me in Australia then back in the states (as many of you did).
The first five inches where in 10 months in California, the last five inches have been in the last 2 months here in Australia.
My goal: 37 inch waist or less (preferably less, but all that is needed is the 37)
That would leave me with a BMI of 20% which is the Navy standard for men in my age bracket.
Another three months to lose another five inches… at this rate, no problem.
I leave you with this:
“Our problem is NOT that we aim to high and FAIL,
It IS that we aim to low and SUCCEED.”
-Aristotle
Monday, February 15, 2010
St. Valentine’s Day!!!
All alone.
BUT THAT’S OK!
“Edward? Really, you? I thought you loved this holy day?”
That’s absolutely right! I do, and as of a year ago, I love it even more!
Why is that you might ask? Answer is simple, St. Valentine’s Day 2010, marks the one year anniversary of my breaking free of the shackle bound to my left fourth digit of the hand!
It was a year ago today, that me and that contentious woman broke off our ill planned engagement and their by releasing me back into the open wild that is the single life.
“But Edward… you seemed so happy?!”
Well, ya, and for the first few months (almost year) I truly thought that I was. But then she did that thing that a lot women do where it’s like,
Dates 1-20: oh, I’m so great (te hee cute girl giggle)
Date 35: (pulls off mask) I will drain your soul!
Whether I become a missionary or not, I need someone who is at least open to the idea. I also need someone who when they say they love to travel, and then you ask them where they have traveled to, has a bit more of an extensive list than just:
NorCal
SoCal
Oregon
Washington
Nevada
Arizona
When you are a Californian… that’s not really traveling, that’s kinda like a five year old walking to the park 6 houses down.
It would be also helpful to have someone my friends actually approve of. (Note: it will also be nice if they tell me with their “serious” voice next time that they don’t). That year and a half was not a complete loss though…
I learned a bit about Scandinavians.
Attained a bunch of new recipes.
Met some interesting people.
Learned who at camp would use any excuse to screw me over and stab me in the back.
AND!
Got an awesome quilt loaded with memories of my illustrious scouting career. A quilt which took far too long to complete, but once it was finished… almost made the extra two and half months of pain worth it.
“Edward! I’m shocked, was it really so terrible? why did you stay with it for so long?!”
Well… the true story makes me look like an evil, heartless dick, so, I’ll only give you a short version, so I only look evil and heartless.
I went on that mission trip to Kenya in October 2008, which she was avidly against, and so, when I returned, she was quite upset with me. Then, one day, after returning, and after one of several arguments that happened more and more, I happened to be talking to someone about my trip to Kenya. I then mentioned three of my other friend’s mission trips to Africa, two to Uganda, and one to Congo. Later, when we were alone, I commented on how she seemed upset. She seemed it, because she was, and she let me know,
“You know what! If I’m such a selfish person… why don’t you just break up with me!? Why don’t you just go off and marry (so and so) since you obviously think she is a better person then me and then you and her can go off and take your f^<%ing messiah complex and save all the f^<%ing blackies in Africa and feed all the homeless and whatever other s#!t you two want to do with your life that I’m not good enough to do”
Well, after hearing that, it really didn’t sound like such a bad idea… in fact, it actually sounded quite well.
There was a bit of a problem… she had 10 years worth of scout shirts cut into squares at her house. She has been known to do/say things upon impulse whether a good idea or not (ok, so I guess we had one thing in common). So, I figured, maybe breaking up right now would not be very strategically advantageous to getting my quilt, or even just getting the shirts back at all, I could have someone else finish it. Christ’s Mass was coming up soon, and I figured, meh, maybe it will be finished by then, after all, she had been claiming it would be my present.
Christ’s Mass came and went…
No quilt.
Another month or so until my Birthday… perhaps then?
No… but nearly
A week or so after my birthday, the long awaited quilt was complete, but already so close to St. Valentine’s Day… well, I hate being single on St. Valentine’s… the 15th sounds like a good day.
Well, over the last month and a half, I reduced my acting skills; I started showing more and more how I really felt. Some of you caught it, others didn’t. So, when St. Valentine’s Day did come up, and I was tired from a Saturday class I had all day, and we got into an argument… well, I just didn’t even bother keeping up the act anymore, and finally, it convinced her to take the death blow. This did actually work out quite well for me since she got to tell people that she ended it (technically).
Then she went to my friends for help on how to retract it and get me back. Well, the thing I love about the turtles is, when she called them up, they basically (in their own polite way of doing so) said, “no, we’re glad you’re broken up”. That not having worked, she called my sis and asked her what she thought, and so my sister told her. She told me she realized us getting back together was a mistake, and kept to her original decision since…
“I talked to your sister, and realized how much growing up you really have to do and basically, you’re not worth my time and energy”
I was happy, but a bit surprised, so the next time I talked to Sara, I couldn’t help but ask,
“so, what did you tell her?”
“Whatever she needed to hear to get the thought of being in my baby bro’s life out of her head” (with a sneaky smile on her face)
I love my vicious latina sister, I guess it runs in the family.
But don’t go feeling to sorry for the poor heartbroken soul… because, she not only replaced me 3 days later, she actually married the guy just 4 months later.
Piece of Edward trivia:
I tend to depression eat.
Another piece of Edward trivia:
I put on a little over 50 pounds in the year and half we where together (which is still better than the 50 I put on in 2004).
Anyone doubt breaking it off was a good call?
I leave you with this:
“It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
-Proverbs 25:24
HAPPY ST. VALENTINE’S DAY
BUT THAT’S OK!
“Edward? Really, you? I thought you loved this holy day?”
That’s absolutely right! I do, and as of a year ago, I love it even more!
Why is that you might ask? Answer is simple, St. Valentine’s Day 2010, marks the one year anniversary of my breaking free of the shackle bound to my left fourth digit of the hand!
It was a year ago today, that me and that contentious woman broke off our ill planned engagement and their by releasing me back into the open wild that is the single life.
“But Edward… you seemed so happy?!”
Well, ya, and for the first few months (almost year) I truly thought that I was. But then she did that thing that a lot women do where it’s like,
Dates 1-20: oh, I’m so great (te hee cute girl giggle)
Date 35: (pulls off mask) I will drain your soul!
Whether I become a missionary or not, I need someone who is at least open to the idea. I also need someone who when they say they love to travel, and then you ask them where they have traveled to, has a bit more of an extensive list than just:
NorCal
SoCal
Oregon
Washington
Nevada
Arizona
When you are a Californian… that’s not really traveling, that’s kinda like a five year old walking to the park 6 houses down.
It would be also helpful to have someone my friends actually approve of. (Note: it will also be nice if they tell me with their “serious” voice next time that they don’t). That year and a half was not a complete loss though…
I learned a bit about Scandinavians.
Attained a bunch of new recipes.
Met some interesting people.
Learned who at camp would use any excuse to screw me over and stab me in the back.
AND!
Got an awesome quilt loaded with memories of my illustrious scouting career. A quilt which took far too long to complete, but once it was finished… almost made the extra two and half months of pain worth it.
“Edward! I’m shocked, was it really so terrible? why did you stay with it for so long?!”
Well… the true story makes me look like an evil, heartless dick, so, I’ll only give you a short version, so I only look evil and heartless.
I went on that mission trip to Kenya in October 2008, which she was avidly against, and so, when I returned, she was quite upset with me. Then, one day, after returning, and after one of several arguments that happened more and more, I happened to be talking to someone about my trip to Kenya. I then mentioned three of my other friend’s mission trips to Africa, two to Uganda, and one to Congo. Later, when we were alone, I commented on how she seemed upset. She seemed it, because she was, and she let me know,
“You know what! If I’m such a selfish person… why don’t you just break up with me!? Why don’t you just go off and marry (so and so) since you obviously think she is a better person then me and then you and her can go off and take your f^<%ing messiah complex and save all the f^<%ing blackies in Africa and feed all the homeless and whatever other s#!t you two want to do with your life that I’m not good enough to do”
Well, after hearing that, it really didn’t sound like such a bad idea… in fact, it actually sounded quite well.
There was a bit of a problem… she had 10 years worth of scout shirts cut into squares at her house. She has been known to do/say things upon impulse whether a good idea or not (ok, so I guess we had one thing in common). So, I figured, maybe breaking up right now would not be very strategically advantageous to getting my quilt, or even just getting the shirts back at all, I could have someone else finish it. Christ’s Mass was coming up soon, and I figured, meh, maybe it will be finished by then, after all, she had been claiming it would be my present.
Christ’s Mass came and went…
No quilt.
Another month or so until my Birthday… perhaps then?
No… but nearly
A week or so after my birthday, the long awaited quilt was complete, but already so close to St. Valentine’s Day… well, I hate being single on St. Valentine’s… the 15th sounds like a good day.
Well, over the last month and a half, I reduced my acting skills; I started showing more and more how I really felt. Some of you caught it, others didn’t. So, when St. Valentine’s Day did come up, and I was tired from a Saturday class I had all day, and we got into an argument… well, I just didn’t even bother keeping up the act anymore, and finally, it convinced her to take the death blow. This did actually work out quite well for me since she got to tell people that she ended it (technically).
Then she went to my friends for help on how to retract it and get me back. Well, the thing I love about the turtles is, when she called them up, they basically (in their own polite way of doing so) said, “no, we’re glad you’re broken up”. That not having worked, she called my sis and asked her what she thought, and so my sister told her. She told me she realized us getting back together was a mistake, and kept to her original decision since…
“I talked to your sister, and realized how much growing up you really have to do and basically, you’re not worth my time and energy”
I was happy, but a bit surprised, so the next time I talked to Sara, I couldn’t help but ask,
“so, what did you tell her?”
“Whatever she needed to hear to get the thought of being in my baby bro’s life out of her head” (with a sneaky smile on her face)
I love my vicious latina sister, I guess it runs in the family.
But don’t go feeling to sorry for the poor heartbroken soul… because, she not only replaced me 3 days later, she actually married the guy just 4 months later.
Piece of Edward trivia:
I tend to depression eat.
Another piece of Edward trivia:
I put on a little over 50 pounds in the year and half we where together (which is still better than the 50 I put on in 2004).
Anyone doubt breaking it off was a good call?
I leave you with this:
“It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
-Proverbs 25:24
HAPPY ST. VALENTINE’S DAY
Sunday, February 14, 2010
AC/DC & MM/DM
All alone… everyone has left me…
But, it was for a very good reason. The twins (Matthew and David) are celebrating their sixteenth birthday today with a high voltage of Australian culture, yes… that’s right… an AC/DC concert in Melbourne.
At some point in the day, they will (or already have) enjoyed some Japanese food. Then of course, will get to rock out, to quite possibly, the most internationally well known Australian band. I myself am not really a concert kind of guy, nor am I truly that avid of an AC/DC fan, but, Matthew and David being those kind of people… well, I’m really happy for them and hope they have an awesome day.
Meanwhile, back on the home front, the Estonian’s are over, and we watched the opening ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games, also known as four hours of Canadian propaganda. The Estonians commented on how many Americans there where marching out of the gate, I in turn reminded them that our team only had to take a road trip to get there. I love the tropical countries that show up with that one guy, and all hopes of gold are riding on just his shoulders.
We’ll see if Australia can pull off any gold this year.
It was interesting I admit watching the opening ceremony in a different country, because, in the US, they always talk about how America will do in the games yada yada yady, and of course, just as you would think, Australia did the same thing. It was just interesting hearing it from a country that historically just does not perform at the Winter Olympics.
And to answer any and all of your questions, the only sport I have any interest in watching, is women’s figure skating, but I’m sure most of you already knew that. This reminds me, I really should look up when that will be on.
Richard is madly in love with the movie Pearl Harbor. And to his credit, as we sit here watching it, I must (painfully) admit… (sigh) it is not as horrible of a movie as I quite remember it being. I just really don’t like admitting to liking something by Michael Bay. Which, really sucks when it comes to Bad Boys I & II, because I totally love those movies, but they do have Will Smith in them, so that must be it (plus all the Miamian women in the back ground).
Tomorrow, we might or might not have work depending on the dryness of the soil around the orange trees… it’s really quite frustrating not knowing one way or the other, especially when it involves waking up at 5 am to find out. Either way, unless that girl from the supermarket calls, it will be a lonely St. Valentine’s Day.
But, it was for a very good reason. The twins (Matthew and David) are celebrating their sixteenth birthday today with a high voltage of Australian culture, yes… that’s right… an AC/DC concert in Melbourne.
At some point in the day, they will (or already have) enjoyed some Japanese food. Then of course, will get to rock out, to quite possibly, the most internationally well known Australian band. I myself am not really a concert kind of guy, nor am I truly that avid of an AC/DC fan, but, Matthew and David being those kind of people… well, I’m really happy for them and hope they have an awesome day.
Meanwhile, back on the home front, the Estonian’s are over, and we watched the opening ceremony of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games, also known as four hours of Canadian propaganda. The Estonians commented on how many Americans there where marching out of the gate, I in turn reminded them that our team only had to take a road trip to get there. I love the tropical countries that show up with that one guy, and all hopes of gold are riding on just his shoulders.
We’ll see if Australia can pull off any gold this year.
It was interesting I admit watching the opening ceremony in a different country, because, in the US, they always talk about how America will do in the games yada yada yady, and of course, just as you would think, Australia did the same thing. It was just interesting hearing it from a country that historically just does not perform at the Winter Olympics.
And to answer any and all of your questions, the only sport I have any interest in watching, is women’s figure skating, but I’m sure most of you already knew that. This reminds me, I really should look up when that will be on.
Richard is madly in love with the movie Pearl Harbor. And to his credit, as we sit here watching it, I must (painfully) admit… (sigh) it is not as horrible of a movie as I quite remember it being. I just really don’t like admitting to liking something by Michael Bay. Which, really sucks when it comes to Bad Boys I & II, because I totally love those movies, but they do have Will Smith in them, so that must be it (plus all the Miamian women in the back ground).
Tomorrow, we might or might not have work depending on the dryness of the soil around the orange trees… it’s really quite frustrating not knowing one way or the other, especially when it involves waking up at 5 am to find out. Either way, unless that girl from the supermarket calls, it will be a lonely St. Valentine’s Day.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Plums = Back Pain
Dirty Job #5 has left me with a very huge, new found respect to all you women who complain of back problems because God blessed you “too much”. We will return to this thought later, but first…
Let me back track a bit. My handler Michael the Orange Guy found us a job working with another Italian with several different types of fruits, but the fruit of choice for the day was, plums. I woke up at 5 AM, took my time doing my morning routine, and picked the Estonians up. We got out to our boss of the week’s place and got a quick run through of our task. We started at 6 am, which apparently turned out to be to early as the sun had still not risen above the horizon, nor had dawn fully broke. It wasn’t soon after that we saw the first glimmers of sun light advance to stuff out the lesser light of the moon.
Fruit picking… oh wow…
I know what you’re probably thinking, “Edward, you are a creationist… and your excellent at sinning… so… you should be awesome at pulling fruit off a tree right? And besides that, you’re Mexican aren’t you?”
Well, apparently, beliefs don’t mean much in terms of fruit picking, and no, I’m Honduran, which, using that argument works against me, because Hondurans have to go UP for bananas as opposed to down for strawberries. The thing about plums is, oh sure, there are bunch that are high and within perfect arm reach, but then there are also a bunch that involve going down to ground level. I wish I had an army of midgets. They could be so useful in these situations.
As displayed by Martin in the below picture…
… we all wore a bag dangling from our front which would catch most of the fruit as we tore it free from the tree limb it was attached to. The excessive weight constantly growing and then subtracting and growing again, became a terrible strain on our backs.
With such weight on our front, and such pain of the bag straps digging into our backs and shoulder blades, the four of us now think we have a slightly better idea of what all you well endowed women have to deal with on a daily basis. I feel for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I still like the view, and, I don’t think you should de-augment the way God made you; I just can appreciate the pain you deal with. That is why I am in favor of a better built bra.
Our boss, Ray, was a fellow of good cheer. I’ve pissed off a lot of people in my day, but few have been so good spirited about it. I taught myself how to drive a forklift! Unfortunately, I took too long getting the fruit into the drive in fridge, and so the temperature rose to high. But, he still fed us nice cold watermelon every day.
Next week Ray has us working with his brother Jerry who has oranges, he promises it will be easier for us. I guess we believe him, I mean, oranges are bigger. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Let me back track a bit. My handler Michael the Orange Guy found us a job working with another Italian with several different types of fruits, but the fruit of choice for the day was, plums. I woke up at 5 AM, took my time doing my morning routine, and picked the Estonians up. We got out to our boss of the week’s place and got a quick run through of our task. We started at 6 am, which apparently turned out to be to early as the sun had still not risen above the horizon, nor had dawn fully broke. It wasn’t soon after that we saw the first glimmers of sun light advance to stuff out the lesser light of the moon.
Fruit picking… oh wow…
I know what you’re probably thinking, “Edward, you are a creationist… and your excellent at sinning… so… you should be awesome at pulling fruit off a tree right? And besides that, you’re Mexican aren’t you?”
Well, apparently, beliefs don’t mean much in terms of fruit picking, and no, I’m Honduran, which, using that argument works against me, because Hondurans have to go UP for bananas as opposed to down for strawberries. The thing about plums is, oh sure, there are bunch that are high and within perfect arm reach, but then there are also a bunch that involve going down to ground level. I wish I had an army of midgets. They could be so useful in these situations.
As displayed by Martin in the below picture…
… we all wore a bag dangling from our front which would catch most of the fruit as we tore it free from the tree limb it was attached to. The excessive weight constantly growing and then subtracting and growing again, became a terrible strain on our backs.
With such weight on our front, and such pain of the bag straps digging into our backs and shoulder blades, the four of us now think we have a slightly better idea of what all you well endowed women have to deal with on a daily basis. I feel for you.
Don’t get me wrong, I still like the view, and, I don’t think you should de-augment the way God made you; I just can appreciate the pain you deal with. That is why I am in favor of a better built bra.
Our boss, Ray, was a fellow of good cheer. I’ve pissed off a lot of people in my day, but few have been so good spirited about it. I taught myself how to drive a forklift! Unfortunately, I took too long getting the fruit into the drive in fridge, and so the temperature rose to high. But, he still fed us nice cold watermelon every day.
Next week Ray has us working with his brother Jerry who has oranges, he promises it will be easier for us. I guess we believe him, I mean, oranges are bigger. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Saints vs. Colts!
To be honest… don’t really care.
I do miss the fact that I won’t catch the Super Bowl, not because I’m so in love with professional football, but because…
It is the greatest day of the year for marketing people.
I am a business major remember, that means, I’m one of those guys who fast forwards through the show to get to the commercials and then I analyze and diagnose the crap out of them (my sister hates when I do that but it’s how I enjoy TV)
So anyway, thanks to the internet, I’ll be able to catch them all the next day. I’ll have my full review of Super Bowl adds later in the month.
Also going on today, two very important birthdays that helped shape my high school years (and by continuation the rest of my life)
First, a quick shout out to my old friend Justine, who quite possible put up with more of my crap then anyone who isn’t in the turtle group, or has the last name “Kiger”. Have a good 24th lap around the sun, and may you have plenty more.
Second and much older, and much more impactful, The Boy Scouts of America celebrates its One Hundredth Anniversary!
A hundred years ago today, the Boy Scouts of America was established, and forever changed American history. I joined October 28, 1998, got my Eagle Scout, and just as if not more importantly, made a group of lifelong friends. Besides teaching me a countless number of skills and lessons, it helped build my confidence. I realize how odd that might sound coming from an arrogant dick like me… but, trust me, deep down it’s true.
Have a good February 8th, whatever it is your celebrating, I’ll be out picking plums…
(for those of you thinking, wait, these days don't add up right? well, it's already the 8th over here while you finish off the last of the barbecue during the 3rd quarter over there)
I do miss the fact that I won’t catch the Super Bowl, not because I’m so in love with professional football, but because…
It is the greatest day of the year for marketing people.
I am a business major remember, that means, I’m one of those guys who fast forwards through the show to get to the commercials and then I analyze and diagnose the crap out of them (my sister hates when I do that but it’s how I enjoy TV)
So anyway, thanks to the internet, I’ll be able to catch them all the next day. I’ll have my full review of Super Bowl adds later in the month.
Also going on today, two very important birthdays that helped shape my high school years (and by continuation the rest of my life)
First, a quick shout out to my old friend Justine, who quite possible put up with more of my crap then anyone who isn’t in the turtle group, or has the last name “Kiger”. Have a good 24th lap around the sun, and may you have plenty more.
Second and much older, and much more impactful, The Boy Scouts of America celebrates its One Hundredth Anniversary!
A hundred years ago today, the Boy Scouts of America was established, and forever changed American history. I joined October 28, 1998, got my Eagle Scout, and just as if not more importantly, made a group of lifelong friends. Besides teaching me a countless number of skills and lessons, it helped build my confidence. I realize how odd that might sound coming from an arrogant dick like me… but, trust me, deep down it’s true.
Have a good February 8th, whatever it is your celebrating, I’ll be out picking plums…
(for those of you thinking, wait, these days don't add up right? well, it's already the 8th over here while you finish off the last of the barbecue during the 3rd quarter over there)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Attept #2 at Stealing Tyson's Tiger
The Estonian's and I, and EVEN MORE Estonians went out again this weekend. I once again cannot go into details. But, I did learn another drinking game.
In this one, there is one person who sits out of play and is the role of Dealer/Judge.
They shuffle the deck, and draw a card. Various rules are applied to various cards at the end of each round (you never make it through the deck) the first three rules are:
On the King, make a crown like symbol over your head.
On the Queen, cup your bust making the shape of a bra.
On the Jack, I don't remember... but I'll let you know when I know.
The Dealer/Judge decides who was the slowest person to do the action and they have to drink. after going through the cards, the Dealer/Judge decides who drank the most, and they are now assigned as the Dealer/Judge after creating a new rule for any of the cards.
I did say my first complete sentence in Estonian, and it was a very very fitting sentence to say on my hero, President Ronald Reagan's birthday:
"Kai Persa Noukogude Liit"
Which, very loosely translated into English means:
"F^<% you Soviet Union"
I never said it was a pleasant sentence, i just said it was my first one that I put together myself.
The 2nd group of Estonians are friends of the 1st group. They happen to be staying in a hostel outside of Griffith (40ish minutes north of Leeton). Two guys and a girl. My number of Eesti sobrad (Estonian friends)keeps growing.
And so, the Birthweek celebration comes to a close.
In this one, there is one person who sits out of play and is the role of Dealer/Judge.
They shuffle the deck, and draw a card. Various rules are applied to various cards at the end of each round (you never make it through the deck) the first three rules are:
On the King, make a crown like symbol over your head.
On the Queen, cup your bust making the shape of a bra.
On the Jack, I don't remember... but I'll let you know when I know.
The Dealer/Judge decides who was the slowest person to do the action and they have to drink. after going through the cards, the Dealer/Judge decides who drank the most, and they are now assigned as the Dealer/Judge after creating a new rule for any of the cards.
I did say my first complete sentence in Estonian, and it was a very very fitting sentence to say on my hero, President Ronald Reagan's birthday:
"Kai Persa Noukogude Liit"
Which, very loosely translated into English means:
"F^<% you Soviet Union"
I never said it was a pleasant sentence, i just said it was my first one that I put together myself.
The 2nd group of Estonians are friends of the 1st group. They happen to be staying in a hostel outside of Griffith (40ish minutes north of Leeton). Two guys and a girl. My number of Eesti sobrad (Estonian friends)keeps growing.
And so, the Birthweek celebration comes to a close.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Operation Nova Aquila Update 2
For those who don’t know, that is what I have decided to name my time here in Australia. My first two months having been here complete, I figure it’s time for another update.
Objective 1 (Lose weight): I’ve just past the 43 inches mark. That makes the 4th inch lost in Australia (between my two trips). In two months, as opposed to the 5 inches that I’ve lost in California over the other 10 months. 1 inch per 2 months at home, 2 inches per month here. Plan seems to be working.
Objective 2 (Find job): Well, those who actively keep track of my blogs would know that I’ve had a series of short term jobs, not necessarily one stable one, but, my handler Michael the Orange guy always seems to pull through.
Objective 3 (Get Ripped like Jesus): Dependant on Objective 1, but, seems like it is going on course.
Objective 4 (Save Money): Dependant on Objective 2, but, also seems to be going on course.
Objective 5 (House Makeover): Well, the house it’s self, I have not had time this past month between the Road Trip and finding work. The shipping containers are nearly 100 percent.
Objective 6 (Quit Pepsico Addiction): The first part of the 2nd trimester seems to be going ok… no with drawls. Yet. The accelerated detox these next few weeks worries me slightly, but, I’m sure I’ll be alright. Having P.O.G. juice around is helping the process out, so now water isn’t my only other option.
Objective 7 (Learn new life lessons): I don’t know how good of a father I’ll be anymore. I am a great scout leader, because at the end of the day, I get to hand the little ones off to their parents, and I can babysit my niece for hours, but at the end of the day, I get to hand her over to her parents. I need a lot more work on my patience than I thought that I did. Also, it's harder having brother's then I thought (but that is kind of a continuation of last month's new life lesson)
Objective 8 (See all states/territories of Aus): After the road trip, I have now seen New South Wales, Victoria, and South Australia. Now I still have the Australian Capital Territory, Tazmania, Western Australia, Northern Territory, and Queensland.
Objective 9 (Re-learn how to ride a motorcycle): Yes, it’s been over a decade since I have last riden a motorcycle, and now, I am unsure of my abilities on one, and so, want to re-learn how. Paul has agreed, but, now we need a working bike to do so.
Objective 10 (Drive manual left handed): Gave it a go awhile ago… it was laughable (to say the least according to Paul). But, I was proud of the fact that it didn’t seem to throw me off that much.
Objective 11 (Dive in GBR): Need money, that’s it, the moment I have the money, I’m going diving. EVERY SCUBA diver, who knows about the Great Barrier Reef, wants to go diving in it, and here I am, so close, and yet penniless (quite literally, Australia has no $.01 piece).
Objective 12 (See one other country): New Zealand air prices from Sydney seem quite reasonable in May, but, as I have that problem with Objective 11, I have the same problem present with Objective 12. That has never stopped me before however.
Objective 13 (Learn Estonian): I have three new Estonian friends, who love speaking their native tongue all the time, and, I don’t blame them at all in the slightest, but I am determined to not be left out of every conversation, and so… I am going to learn as much Estonian as I possibly can. Have a few words so far, but mainly just slang to use in a pub.
The adventure continues!!! And so friends, I leave you with this though of the day that I think applies to this update…
“There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth... it is you!”
Thursday, February 4, 2010
P. O. G.
For those who don’t know, when I worked at Rancho Alegre, we had a juice machine that we the staff used to fill up pitchers for campers during the meals.
In the Juice Machine, there was usually:
Apple
Grape
One other thing
And……
POG!
What is this P.O.G. many of you might be wondering?!?!?!
Oh… nothing special… ONLY THE GREATEST JUICE EVER!
So, anyway, at some point in time while taking apart the shed, I had this sudden craving for P.O.G.
At first I don’t know where it came from, but after further reflection, I think I figured it out.
Remember Ranger Larry I mentioned back in December? Ya, well, every year at camp, (don’t worry, I’m coming back to POG) during staff development week, he made it a point during his oh so lovely OSHA talk, to scare the bejeezus out of EVERY member of camp!
HANTAVIRUS!!!
Hantavirus is a respiratory infection that occurs when you inhale the dust created by the movement of rodent fecal matter.
Or… “the crud that you kick up when your sweeping up all the mouse poopies in your cabin”. When this “Death Dust” reaches your lungs, they begin to bleed! AND YOU DROWN IN YOUR OWN BLOOD!!!
So, ya, as much of a laugh as us older staff have after hearing “the Hanta talk” year after year… the moment I saw a pile of what I thought might have been rodent crap… I immediately put on my mask, and proceeded with caution. The whole time I was taking the shed apart and more rat crap came from the other side of the wall, the more and more Ranger Larry’s voice played in my head!
It was like… I was haunted by the thought of hanta, I could just hear it over and over again like a broken record in the back of my mind with every panel I took off…
“Eagle… HANTA!”
“Hanta Eagle… Hanta!”
“The dust is creeping in!”
“The mask won’t protect you…”
“you’ll get Hantavirus Eagle”
“…Then… your lungs will fill with blood”
“Can’t you feel them burning inside already”
It was at this point, that I had the most intense craving for POG juice… and looking back on that moment, (because it was very strange for me at the time why I would have such a pregnant woman intense craving) I realized, that was usually about the same time in the speech when I would excuse myself and go hang out in the kitchen talking to Liz and/or Dana and drink POG so I could avoid as much of the OSHA talk as I could.
So… anyway, I had this intense craving with me throughout the rest of the day. I asked Jan if she had ever heard of POG, and her response…
“POG?! What the hell is that?”
“It’s a type of juice”
“Oh… huh… POG?”
“Ya… it’s a blend”
“Check Woolys, if they don’t have it, you’re out of luck”
Well, I went to the store with Paul after work, and!
They did NOT have it. I really didn’t think they would… but it was worth a shot.
I went on a juice buying frenzy though!
I never realized how much I really like juice! It’s like crazy! I feel so healthy.
So, anyway, I found an Orange & Passion fruit blend and then I found some Guava Nectar (which happen to be the 3 fruits involved in the creation of POG).
I bought the 2, and spent most of the rest of the afternoon finding just the right mixture, as it turns out, which is just way WAY to easy… pretty much, 1/3 of the Guava Nectar, and then the other 2/3rds you fill with the Orange & Passion fruit juice.
So there you have it, the way to make my favorite type of juice, and also, a valuable lesson in how not to fill your lungs with blood.
Dirty Job #4
Working at a grain storage facility.
It was alright I suppose, but, score another point for college degree (seems to be a theme developing). Another job found for me by my handler, Michael the Orange Guy (yes, his new official nic-name), quite possibly the best of my birthday presents (in the sense that I actually had work)
At least I got along well with my boss.
So what did I do this time? Well, I cleaned the outside of a shed. Easy right? Well, if you think of “shed” in terms of that little 5x4 that you put your lawn mower and rake in the back yard… then ya, I suppose I could see why you would think it was easy, but… if you thought of shed as in the “store tons of grain and could fit the condo I grew up in, plus my house on Oxford, plus my Aussie home… well, slightly harder.
So, I spent the entire first day cleaning 3 out of 4 walls, and then the 2nd and third days taking apart and then putting up a new 4th wall.
I learned something new about me… ANY other time, put me in a basket, and then hoist me 30-50 feet in the air, no problem at all in the slightest and my Ealge-like awesomeness kicks in. Do so when I am dehydrated… hmmmm… ya… not so much. Though, after a few moments of the rocking back and forthness, I was alright and felt like a nance for complaining in the first place.
Being as the day’s events weren’t extremely eventful…
I’ll leave you with this story that my boss told me:
“After the War, there was a high tax on a lot of different produce that would have normally gone to the soldiers. Well, Nestle comes to me ol’ man and asks him if he can get them X number of almonds.
“So him and his mates get together, pick the amount asked of them, so they did, and where all happy that they had a big pay day coming to them.
“Then they get a call from this guy from the government. Turns out he come down to Wagga asking for all this tax. So my old man goes down there, and meets one of his mates, and asks, ‘where is this government guy?’
“his mate tells him, ‘down at the pub’
“ ‘well what did I come down here for if he’s just at the bloody pub?!’
“ ‘(what’s his name) has him down there buying him beers, now, in a little bit, you go down there, and you start buying that bastard some beers, and tell (what’s his name) that we need him here, then I’ll go in, and we switch out again’
“so my old man goes down to the pub and starts shouting drinks for him till his mate come and switch out with him, then his other mate switch out with him, and my dad go back in… well, eventually, they drink this poor bastard under the table. He is so pissed drunk that the three of them pick him up, and carry him just down the block to the train station, get him on the next train going to Sydney and paid one of the guys ten quid to throw him out when the train got to Sydney.
“And ya know what? They never heard another word about that money ever again”
Anyway, funny stories from Aussies, thought I’d share.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
“Happy” Birthday
Sigh
My birthday and time zones just don’t get along. Like not even a little.
Jan and the family tried to help me have a good day. Jan got me a Leonardo action figure, which is really cool cause it actually jumps and does a back flip.
But… I’m in Sydney time right now. While I was enjoying the first day of February, everyone else I know (even my friend in Germany) was still saying goodbye to January while I was having my birthday.
The fact that I wasn’t feeling all that great didn’t help things much at all. Still, the part about most all of you forgetting that I was in a different time zone and so already had my birthday by the time most of you said, “Happy birthday” really didn't help. But that still wasn't the worst part.
Like I said, my birthday has not had good luck with time zones…
One of my Aunts in Honduras (one of my Mother’s cousins, but you know us Latinos) for the past few years would call me in the morning on the first of February to wish me a happy birthday. Before it was just a card, until my last visit back to the motherland, then she started calling. Which, for a 3rd worlder to call a 1st worlder is very kind and thoughtful, so, I did appreciate the niceness of it all, but, I couldn’t display those feelings when I was being woken up just before 6 am. You see, all of Honduras is in 1 time zone, they don’t span across 4 like the 48 states do, and Honduras is 2 hours ahead of California, so that means, even though they were trying to get a hold of me before my cousin Orlin went to school, that was still two hours ahead, while I was still lying motionless in bed.
And so… in 2008 and 2009 I actually spent the night at the Kigers the night before my birthday just so that, even if they call, I could still sleep in. Which... looking back just makes me feel like even more of a dick. All they wanted was to be good family, but it was to inconvenient of a time for me.
2007 was the last birthday that I talked to Orlin. He was murdered last June just after I returned to CA from my last trip out here. As much as it use to annoy me… right now I would give anything to be woken up by my Aunt at any hour day or night if I could just talk to my cousin again.
Then throw in the absence of the turtles and… well…
It wasn’t the greatest way of starting off my 24th lap around the sun.
At least I’ve only got another 363 days left till my car insurance goes down.
21 Feb 2010
Ammendment 1
A. My Aussie family did what they knew best to do to make me feel loved, this isn't a blog about what they did or didn't do because what they did do was kind hearted.
B. I do NOT make it sound like I would have only been happy if my entire family flew down, I was talking about the fact that a couple friends I've yet to even meet in real life, said happy birthday before a couple of my best friends who I've known for nearly 20 years.
C. This blog was not an opportunity for all of YOU to call me a selfish dick, this blog was ME confessing it.
D. This blog is about how much my cousin Orlin was on my mind all day because he and his mother historically called me year after year on my birthday, and I'm a selfish dick who would have rather slept in, than to talk to a family member, and now, I will never again get that chance, because Orlin was murdered and I never replied to the last letter he sent me because I procrastinate, and even though I shouldn't let it, it kinda haunts me to know that I never replied, never let him know that I love him, and am glad to be related to him.
My birthday and time zones just don’t get along. Like not even a little.
Jan and the family tried to help me have a good day. Jan got me a Leonardo action figure, which is really cool cause it actually jumps and does a back flip.
But… I’m in Sydney time right now. While I was enjoying the first day of February, everyone else I know (even my friend in Germany) was still saying goodbye to January while I was having my birthday.
The fact that I wasn’t feeling all that great didn’t help things much at all. Still, the part about most all of you forgetting that I was in a different time zone and so already had my birthday by the time most of you said, “Happy birthday” really didn't help. But that still wasn't the worst part.
Like I said, my birthday has not had good luck with time zones…
One of my Aunts in Honduras (one of my Mother’s cousins, but you know us Latinos) for the past few years would call me in the morning on the first of February to wish me a happy birthday. Before it was just a card, until my last visit back to the motherland, then she started calling. Which, for a 3rd worlder to call a 1st worlder is very kind and thoughtful, so, I did appreciate the niceness of it all, but, I couldn’t display those feelings when I was being woken up just before 6 am. You see, all of Honduras is in 1 time zone, they don’t span across 4 like the 48 states do, and Honduras is 2 hours ahead of California, so that means, even though they were trying to get a hold of me before my cousin Orlin went to school, that was still two hours ahead, while I was still lying motionless in bed.
And so… in 2008 and 2009 I actually spent the night at the Kigers the night before my birthday just so that, even if they call, I could still sleep in. Which... looking back just makes me feel like even more of a dick. All they wanted was to be good family, but it was to inconvenient of a time for me.
2007 was the last birthday that I talked to Orlin. He was murdered last June just after I returned to CA from my last trip out here. As much as it use to annoy me… right now I would give anything to be woken up by my Aunt at any hour day or night if I could just talk to my cousin again.
Then throw in the absence of the turtles and… well…
It wasn’t the greatest way of starting off my 24th lap around the sun.
At least I’ve only got another 363 days left till my car insurance goes down.
21 Feb 2010
Ammendment 1
A. My Aussie family did what they knew best to do to make me feel loved, this isn't a blog about what they did or didn't do because what they did do was kind hearted.
B. I do NOT make it sound like I would have only been happy if my entire family flew down, I was talking about the fact that a couple friends I've yet to even meet in real life, said happy birthday before a couple of my best friends who I've known for nearly 20 years.
C. This blog was not an opportunity for all of YOU to call me a selfish dick, this blog was ME confessing it.
D. This blog is about how much my cousin Orlin was on my mind all day because he and his mother historically called me year after year on my birthday, and I'm a selfish dick who would have rather slept in, than to talk to a family member, and now, I will never again get that chance, because Orlin was murdered and I never replied to the last letter he sent me because I procrastinate, and even though I shouldn't let it, it kinda haunts me to know that I never replied, never let him know that I love him, and am glad to be related to him.
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