Plums = Back Pain

Dirty Job #5 has left me with a very huge, new found respect to all you women who complain of back problems because God blessed you “too much”. We will return to this thought later, but first…

Let me back track a bit. My handler Michael the Orange Guy found us a job working with another Italian with several different types of fruits, but the fruit of choice for the day was, plums. I woke up at 5 AM, took my time doing my morning routine, and picked the Estonians up. We got out to our boss of the week’s place and got a quick run through of our task. We started at 6 am, which apparently turned out to be to early as the sun had still not risen above the horizon, nor had dawn fully broke. It wasn’t soon after that we saw the first glimmers of sun light advance to stuff out the lesser light of the moon.

Fruit picking… oh wow…

I know what you’re probably thinking, “Edward, you are a creationist… and your excellent at sinning… so… you should be awesome at pulling fruit off a tree right? And besides that, you’re Mexican aren’t you?”

Well, apparently, beliefs don’t mean much in terms of fruit picking, and no, I’m Honduran, which, using that argument works against me, because Hondurans have to go UP for bananas as opposed to down for strawberries. The thing about plums is, oh sure, there are bunch that are high and within perfect arm reach, but then there are also a bunch that involve going down to ground level. I wish I had an army of midgets. They could be so useful in these situations.

As displayed by Martin in the below picture…



… we all wore a bag dangling from our front which would catch most of the fruit as we tore it free from the tree limb it was attached to. The excessive weight constantly growing and then subtracting and growing again, became a terrible strain on our backs.

With such weight on our front, and such pain of the bag straps digging into our backs and shoulder blades, the four of us now think we have a slightly better idea of what all you well endowed women have to deal with on a daily basis. I feel for you.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like the view, and, I don’t think you should de-augment the way God made you; I just can appreciate the pain you deal with. That is why I am in favor of a better built bra.

Our boss, Ray, was a fellow of good cheer. I’ve pissed off a lot of people in my day, but few have been so good spirited about it. I taught myself how to drive a forklift! Unfortunately, I took too long getting the fruit into the drive in fridge, and so the temperature rose to high. But, he still fed us nice cold watermelon every day.

Next week Ray has us working with his brother Jerry who has oranges, he promises it will be easier for us. I guess we believe him, I mean, oranges are bigger. I’ll let you know how it turns out.