St. Valentine’s Day!!!

All alone.

BUT THAT’S OK!

“Edward? Really, you? I thought you loved this holy day?”

That’s absolutely right! I do, and as of a year ago, I love it even more!
Why is that you might ask? Answer is simple, St. Valentine’s Day 2010, marks the one year anniversary of my breaking free of the shackle bound to my left fourth digit of the hand!

It was a year ago today, that me and that contentious woman broke off our ill planned engagement and their by releasing me back into the open wild that is the single life.

“But Edward… you seemed so happy?!”

Well, ya, and for the first few months (almost year) I truly thought that I was. But then she did that thing that a lot women do where it’s like,

Dates 1-20: oh, I’m so great (te hee cute girl giggle)

Date 35: (pulls off mask) I will drain your soul!

Whether I become a missionary or not, I need someone who is at least open to the idea. I also need someone who when they say they love to travel, and then you ask them where they have traveled to, has a bit more of an extensive list than just:
NorCal
SoCal
Oregon
Washington
Nevada
Arizona

When you are a Californian… that’s not really traveling, that’s kinda like a five year old walking to the park 6 houses down.

It would be also helpful to have someone my friends actually approve of. (Note: it will also be nice if they tell me with their “serious” voice next time that they don’t). That year and a half was not a complete loss though…
I learned a bit about Scandinavians.
Attained a bunch of new recipes.
Met some interesting people.
Learned who at camp would use any excuse to screw me over and stab me in the back.

AND!

Got an awesome quilt loaded with memories of my illustrious scouting career. A quilt which took far too long to complete, but once it was finished… almost made the extra two and half months of pain worth it.

“Edward! I’m shocked, was it really so terrible? why did you stay with it for so long?!”

Well… the true story makes me look like an evil, heartless dick, so, I’ll only give you a short version, so I only look evil and heartless.

I went on that mission trip to Kenya in October 2008, which she was avidly against, and so, when I returned, she was quite upset with me. Then, one day, after returning, and after one of several arguments that happened more and more, I happened to be talking to someone about my trip to Kenya. I then mentioned three of my other friend’s mission trips to Africa, two to Uganda, and one to Congo. Later, when we were alone, I commented on how she seemed upset. She seemed it, because she was, and she let me know,

“You know what! If I’m such a selfish person… why don’t you just break up with me!? Why don’t you just go off and marry (so and so) since you obviously think she is a better person then me and then you and her can go off and take your f^<%ing messiah complex and save all the f^<%ing blackies in Africa and feed all the homeless and whatever other s#!t you two want to do with your life that I’m not good enough to do”

Well, after hearing that, it really didn’t sound like such a bad idea… in fact, it actually sounded quite well.

There was a bit of a problem… she had 10 years worth of scout shirts cut into squares at her house. She has been known to do/say things upon impulse whether a good idea or not (ok, so I guess we had one thing in common). So, I figured, maybe breaking up right now would not be very strategically advantageous to getting my quilt, or even just getting the shirts back at all, I could have someone else finish it. Christ’s Mass was coming up soon, and I figured, meh, maybe it will be finished by then, after all, she had been claiming it would be my present.

Christ’s Mass came and went…

No quilt.

Another month or so until my Birthday… perhaps then?

No… but nearly

A week or so after my birthday, the long awaited quilt was complete, but already so close to St. Valentine’s Day… well, I hate being single on St. Valentine’s… the 15th sounds like a good day.

Well, over the last month and a half, I reduced my acting skills; I started showing more and more how I really felt. Some of you caught it, others didn’t. So, when St. Valentine’s Day did come up, and I was tired from a Saturday class I had all day, and we got into an argument… well, I just didn’t even bother keeping up the act anymore, and finally, it convinced her to take the death blow. This did actually work out quite well for me since she got to tell people that she ended it (technically).

Then she went to my friends for help on how to retract it and get me back. Well, the thing I love about the turtles is, when she called them up, they basically (in their own polite way of doing so) said, “no, we’re glad you’re broken up”. That not having worked, she called my sis and asked her what she thought, and so my sister told her. She told me she realized us getting back together was a mistake, and kept to her original decision since…

“I talked to your sister, and realized how much growing up you really have to do and basically, you’re not worth my time and energy”

I was happy, but a bit surprised, so the next time I talked to Sara, I couldn’t help but ask,

“so, what did you tell her?”

“Whatever she needed to hear to get the thought of being in my baby bro’s life out of her head” (with a sneaky smile on her face)

I love my vicious latina sister, I guess it runs in the family.

But don’t go feeling to sorry for the poor heartbroken soul… because, she not only replaced me 3 days later, she actually married the guy just 4 months later.

Piece of Edward trivia:
I tend to depression eat.

Another piece of Edward trivia:
I put on a little over 50 pounds in the year and half we where together (which is still better than the 50 I put on in 2004).

Anyone doubt breaking it off was a good call?

I leave you with this:
“It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
-Proverbs 25:24


HAPPY ST. VALENTINE’S DAY