The Seven Deadly Sins

As today is the last day before Holy Week starts, I thought I’d let you all know that this coming week, after much personal reflection; not just throughout this season of Lent, but also in all of my time here in Australia; I will be posting a series of blogs on the Seven Deadly sins of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

Their meaning, how I see them acted out in the modern world, and my own level of involvement. I am telling you in advance this is coming not so that you may run from it, but to challenge you, to put yourself under the microscope. I’m not saying you have to announce your findings to the world, most of you won’t want to. I do think it is important to be honest with ourselves. I don’t have a problem sharing about myself, there is no classified information, and most of you see my hypocrisy in everyday life anyway, so it’s not as if any of it would be a big secret.

Why do this now I was asked earlier in the week? Well, a couple reasons… #1 Its Holy Week next week. #2 Having my hands in the soil, working by myself, I’ve had quite a bit of time to think about things. I feel closest to God in nature. There is a commercial on Aussie TV that has an Abo talking about going out into nature and how therapeutic it is, how when you go out into nature and go on a hike, you are giving Mother Nature a back rub. So, proximity to nature with plenty of time to think and of course the fact that it is Holy Week.

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, the day we as a people warmly greeted Joshua into Jerusalem only days before murdering him in one of the worst ways possible. A method of death SO painful, they had to make up a new word just to describe how painful it was (Excruciating: Ex = out of, crux = cross)

We sheeple suck.

I know I do… and this next week, I’ll prove it.

Water Bottle Old Friend…

Being in another country and continent in a different quadrant of the earth, there are many friends that I miss, but that is to be expected and I have a good valid reason for it. What I do NOT have a good valid reason for missing, is my water bottle.

Yes, I have done it again… I have overworked myself into sickness.
I have been a Lifeguard for 8+ years now. I have worked at a Boys Scout Summer camp for 7 years. I can identify the signs of hypothermia, heat exhaustion, fatigue, and… dehydration, in anyone by sight. Except for myself of course.

That is not entirely true, I noticed a couple days ago I was not performing at my peak, and my picking rate has slowed down since. Yesterday was not a fun time waking up, this morning however, even worse. While in the shower, I realized something…

I can’t remember the last time I peed clear.

It had to be some time a few days ago, I remember nearly passing out when I stood up a couple days ago in the field.

This sudden cold weather is playing tricks on me, making me believe I have more energy then I really do.

So, just like the “Powerthirst” commercial, mother nature is telling me “SSsslllllooooowwww down!”


Not happy with myself today for letting things come to this… but, I suppose that is the price of little water and sleep deprivation.

Corn!

Another day of working for Ray, but that’s not the really interesting part of my day.

To tell you today’s story… I must first take you back six years.

Summer of 2004.

I had graduated, I had been to Guam, Micronesia, Hawaii, and now, I was on my way to Iowa. The corn state of the nation.

Why go to Iowa?

I was the Lodge Chief for the local Lodge of the Order of the Arrow (OA), Scouting’s National Honor Society. Every two years, there is what is known as the National Order of the Arrow Conference (NOAC). The OA is a youth run organization, but there are “Advisers” to oversee the youth and make sure they don’t do anything illegal, so, you can imagine how important my adviser’s where when I was Lodge Chief. When we got to Iowa, I told the two advisers that went with us, “I want to run through the corn fields”

I can honestly say, I don’t know why the extreme desire to do so, I just know, I really really wanted to. Their reply:

“ummm… ya… about that… maybe if we have time… (freak)”

On the last day of the adventure, we were driving in two cars. My friend Ryan’s father Les driving the first, and one of my favorite advisers, the Alfred to my Batman, Wayne, driving the car I was in. We were driving towards the airport, and I called Les and said, “this is the LAST corn field on the way to the airport… PULL OVER!”

To my surprise, he does.

I tell Wayne, “QUICK pull over! He did it!”

So, as our car comes to a complete stop, Les guns it, and Wayne laughing, also follows suit. I get a call from Car 1 in which all I hear is laughter.
I never did get to run through a corn field on a farm…


Cut to today!


Ray and I had already done a couple tasks; it was toward the end of the day, he was being a corn mohel like we both were last week. I had just finished spraying some chemical that he had left over from spraying something else for weeds. So, I sat there, watching him mohel away at these corns, and as I see this pile of corn begin to get larger…

I have this flash back of being robbed of an adventuresome run 6 years earlier…
I also happened to have my camera in the car.

So, I grabbed my camera, and walked over to the front part of Ray’s farm.

Then…



Then I had to run back of course… (this time, with the camera being held above my head so you can see something)



I get back to Ray and tell him I went for a run,

“Good, you can use it”
“ya ya ya, I’ve been waiting 6 years for that run”
“What! That’s why your fat, not running in 6 years”
“no no no, you see…”

So I tell him the story…

“Go wash your hands”
“ummm, ok” (I rinse off my hands with the hose, then I notice a slight itch on my neck – I of course scratch)
“you took a video of it?”
“Ya”
“let me see”
(I start scratching more as he watches)
“Bloody hell mate! You should have said something, so that your scout friends knew it was really you”
“ya, I suppose your right”
“how’s your skin?”
“umm… really really itchy now that you mention it”
“Ya, about that, 'member that chemical I just had you spray?”
“ya…”
“the one I told you ‘DON’T get it on you’”
“ummm… ya…”
“Where do you think I sprayed that first part?”
“Oh… F^(<”
“Ya, you’d better get yourself home and wash off, I’ll see ya Monday, go on git!”

I nearly ripped open my own neck scratching away at that itch. Nearly gave myself a new scar going down my sternum beginning at my “Pereira Spot”. And, my eyes of course… oh… my beautiful eyes… RED, RED like they were starring in a “Clear Eyes” commercial with Ben Stein. After a nice long very warm shower, I’m fine. Only thing

I’m scratching at is one of my 237 mozzie bites.


But you know what… after a 6 year wait...

Totally worth it!

Edward 67 – Sheep 3

Dirty Job #10

A day with sheep.

Normally, they would take the cute lil tiny lambs, and do all the stuff we did today to them.

Procrastination, really does add more work later.

You see, they procrastinated, and so, these where not “lil tiny” lambs. These… were more like, “look at me, I’m almost as big as momma!”

To answer the main question right off the bat, thankfully, there was NO de-balling today. There was a bit of blood however. Michael had me thinking that I was going to be walking into a blood bath worthy of Kali! Psh… twas nothing… almost.

I get picked up by the guy I’m working for, and then we headed to the fruit shack to pick up a German backpacker. We drive to where the sheep are. A much more successful attempt at sheparding than the last time I tried.

We set up this maze for the sheep to be scared through, and then, we start segregating them to where we want them to be.

Then came the “fun” part. Our task of the day was to take the “lambs” pick them up, take them over to a work station where their tails would then be rubber banded for amputation, they would be vaccinated, their ear would be tagged, and then the opposite ear would have a notch cut into it at the top as the mark of the rancher.
Me and “Hans” got to pick up the sheep, and hold them steady while all 4 of these painful things happen to them. This is where the blood comes into play.
The second lamb… I happen to be in the middle of saying something as the guy we were working for’s dad went to punch the notch into the lamb’s right ear. I happen to be holding it on the right side. As my mouth happen to be open due to my need to speak at that exact moment, I just so happen to get a taste of freshly extracted and squirted lamb’s blood.

Yummy…


The rest of the day I chose my moments to speak much more carefully. I also made it a point to look away with my eyes closed every time an ear on my side was getting cut.
The rest of that process went by fairly “routine” with the exception of course of the fact that these “lambs” where HUGE and not young lil cute ones.

All the new one’s having been completed. We went on to deal with all the momma sheep. To them we gave the vaccination and this stuff to wipe out any worms that they might have. This does of course involve stabbing them in the face with a large needle, which they don’t like, and shoving an over grown squirt gun down their mouth, which, they are also not to fond of. We herded them to where we wanted them. Then we led them small group by small group at a time threw this narrow area where we could “easily” vaccinate and medicate them. At one point however, one jump the fence without it’s treatment. It was spotted however, so that made it easy to point out in the crowd. So I, the great warrior and hunter, with all my predator like instincts… ran it down and tackled it to the ground and restrained it till the others came and did what they had to do. That was not the only time I did that however. My predator like abilities also tackled two rams that needed to go into another pen.

This is where the 3 points for the sheep come into play though.

Point 1 went to the lamb who swung it’s head back at me and hit me in the face.

Point 2 went to the second ram that I captured. When I was about to throw him over the fence, not all 4 legs made it quite to the other side. As the others tried to warn me of the sneaky right hind leg, it was too late, and I took a bit of a kick to my right kidney region, no scratch, and no visible bruise.

Point 3, as I was closing a fence, the sheep where rebelling and managed to knock down a barricade that was in between the sheep, and the back of my right leg. I prevented the escape, but the back of my right leg had to pay for it.

Besides those 3 though… I pretty much dominated them the rest of the day. Who knew that my black belt would come in handy when it came to restraining sheep though.
I am happy to report, I did not get peed on, nor did my boots get poopy. In fact; besides the blood in my mouth and the bit that ended up on a little section of my jeans it was a good day in terms of stuff from inside the sheep getting on us.

Tomorrow, I return to Ray and his farm. His farm, without sheep. It will be good to be back.

There Will Be Blood?

No Irish blood apparently means no luck today.

Nothing very eventful happened today, being English and being to poor for beer, today was just another day. And no Dave… no corn beef tonight in case you were wondering.

Tomorrow however... might be a bit of a different story.

You see, while Ray and I were out in the field this evening, at about 7 pm, Michael “my handler” (aka “my pimp”) texted me.

“Hi, do you want a job tomorrow marking lambs @ 9am start for 5 hours!”

I think about it for a bit, I tell Ray that I just got a text and what it said, and he says, “well, don’t be a fool boy, take the money!”
“well, don’t you need this done?”
“ya… it can wait till Friday. Only gonna be one day right?”
“ya, I think so”
“go for it, finish the rest of this up on Friday”

So, like the “good Wog boy" I am I listen to what my boss says, and text my handler back,
“Ok. How much and where to?”
“$10 an hour cash for ---- ---- and he will pick you up!”
“sweet deal”
“Thank you!”

So, I tell Ray this, cause he asked what the reply was.
“$10 an hour marking sheep! F^(kin hell… shit, you are better off staying here tomorrow after all”
“What do you mean?”
“you’re not going to like it”
“umm… uuhhhh… re – really?”
“you said ‘marking lambs’ right?”
“ya”
“oh sure… taking a texter (sharpie) to those lambs is a LOT of fun (insert evil laugh here)”

So, right about now… I gets to thinking back to some stories Andrew has shared with me about his experience with sheep. And I text Michael back:
“Ray is laughing at me. When u say mark, im assuming u don’t mean a texter. Am I doing what no man would want done?”

Then… there is an extended period of time before I get a reply text from Michael. And the response is simply this:
“Yep! It will look good on your resume! Chris will come by 9 am so wait on the road so he can see you.
There will be blood, enjoy!”


Then I get to come home and tell the family about the coming adventure tomorrow…

While eating dinner, Paul chooses to enlighten me on how de-balling use to be done before the rubber band method I’ll most likely be doing tomorrow.


F… M… L…



oh well, Happy St. Patrick's Day i'm going to watch Boondock Saints to take my mind off the horror that awaits me...

Orange Cupcake

Is it an Orange? Is it a cupcake?

So when I was picking oranges, I thought I’d be awesome, and with there being 6 people in this house hold, I’d jack a bunch of oranges and bring some home right. Well, we’ve been slowly working away at them, and have now narrowed the herd down to just half a fridge drawer full.

I decided to whip out some ol’ Boy Scout knowledge, so… those of you who have served with me in the past and remember this technique, feel free to skip, for those who want to learn continue on…

One of my old Advisers and I were doing a cooking demonstration for cub scouts in which we taught some cool little camp out tricks (like boiling an egg in a paper cup). The orange cupcake was one of the things we taught. I’d been wanting to show Adam how to do it for awhile now (since I brought the oranges home) but as busy as my days are here… just never got around to it. And so, while the family was at basketball tonight and I was home doing laundry, I figured I’d just do it and explain the process later. This is great for kids especially while camping, it’s ok to do a trial run by yourself first (in fact, that’s kind of what tonight was about to make sure I remember)

What you need:
*Oranges
*Vanilla (can use orange also, but it might be a bit much) dry cake mix
*Cutting utensil
*Cutting surface
*Backing pan (indoors) OR still hot coals (outdoors)





Step 1:


Slice all the oranges you are going to use in half preferably like the equator (and not like the international date line).



If a slice has seeds, no worries, it won’t make too much of a difference later on.


Step 2:

With a small spoon, begin scooping out the innards of the orange.



Feel free to leave as much juice in the remaining bowl as possible.



You do not have to perfectly get ALL of the orange out, but, it is somewhat preferred later on during the eating process. I happen to be a bit CDO (like OCD, but in alphabetical order like it should be) when it comes to cleaning the gunk out of stuff, so I take everything out if I can. BUT SAVE THE INNARDS! We need that juice remember.



Be very careful however while doing this process. Remember that these skin bowls need to keep structural integrity, a tiny crack near the edge might be alright, but anything more than this mess up would be highly unadvisable:




Step 3:



Ok, remember that package of Vanilla cake mix we discussed earlier? Ya, time to open it. I thought of this in hind sight (too late to help myself) but feel free to pour the mix into a bowl, it will make life easier if you are dealing with a group of kids to just take a spoonful or so out like that than to reach in and out of a plastic bag in a box.

If being cute and dealing with kids (or just being very detailed) you will take two good sized small spoonfuls (or one big spoon full) of the cake mix and dump it into an orange bowl.




Step 4:

After all the bowls have been powdered, add orange juice as needed back into the bowl. Start with just a bit, remember, you can always add more powder if you need to. You might want to stir with either the small end of a spoon handle or a chopstick, a full on spoon might be a bit large, and send the batter flying various directions as opposed to mixing it just right.



I can guarantee you won’t get the batter right on the first go, so just have some fun with it. Add as much mix and juice as need be until it is just the way you need it to be. Also remember, things like cake expand, so don’t get to carried away with adding.



If you happen to be just cheating because you are doing such a vast number, feel free to follow the batter recipe on the box of whatever brand you are using in a bowl on the side, substituting orange juice for whatever liquid they want you to use and then pour the batter back into the cups (only for indoors, while camping this way is much more fun)


Step 5:



You should now have all the oranges mixed just right. If you are doing this indoors with an oven, than you should have preheated it to about 190 C or 370 F. I baked these for about 16 minutes, but that might have been able to be in for another minute or so. Just depends on how you like your cake. If you are doing this out doors or camping, you can use a grill or camp fire bit but only with warm coals, not a raging fire. A Dutch oven may also be used in this situation, but that is almost like saying the Pope is Catholic, a Dutch oven can be used in just about any camp food situation.




Step 6:

Take either out of the oven or off the coals. Let cool. Enjoy.



If you happen to have frosting or anything of the sort, feel free to add. An added treat might be coloring vanilla frosting orange and making the appearance that it is just a deformed orange as opposed to a cupcake in an orange. I didn’t have that much frosting, nor was I plentiful on patience tonight, so I didn’t do it, but I did personalize them with the first letter of our name.







Hope you and any kids you are dealing with have fun doing this, but please for the love of all that is good and pure, remember not to let and of the dumb/clumsy ones do the cutting of the orange or the taking in/out of the oven without proper supervision.

That’s just bad form.

Ava Caesar!

Ya’lls need to read some more Shakespeare.

I do highly appreciate the concern to my back muscles though, just to get that out of the way. It feels WAY better than it did a few days ago. The back references where not in reference to that though.

As further proof of my extreme ego… for years, I’ve had this feeling that I’ll either die on the ides of March (or beginning of December).

I do NOT know why.

Just cause GJC was killed on this day… means nothing to me right?

I mean, the prophecy was just in the book that might or might not have been written by “William”

Anyway…

The risk of death aside, this is MY row of string beans:



This is what I spend my day with picking away like a Mexican



Oh what fun! This row of string beans seems to be the greatest threat to my back, and not the daggers of angry senators.

Some good is coming out of all this Mexican experience; I have a new found respect towards vegetables.